Pink Panache

Miscellany Monday!

2011-04-04T05:45:00.000-07:00

Sorry I've been gone so long ...the last week has been really hard. My Uncle Albert passed and I was devasted. I had just gone to see him in the hospital 2 days before and he seemed fine. He was such a wonderful man. He's was funny and on the ball to the very end. H was generous, funny, kind and just a really happy guy...I'm really going to miss him

{One} Reese Witherspoon's Wedding Photos are out and I am so excited to go pick up People Magazine. Here's a preview

{Two} Anyone Watch the Academy of Country Music Awards? Carrie Underwood was looking as beautiful as ever. Gosh she makes me wish I was blonde!

{Three} Speaking of the Awards... how adorable is Blake Shelton? I was dying laughing during his opening act!

{Four} My other love Steven Tyler did amazing too!!

Not digging the pink in Carrie's hair

{five} I got accepted to Concordia University for September! Yah its kind of a let down because I was going to one of the top schools in the country and its nowhere near as good but I when I get better it'll to be closer to home for a little while. Now all I have to do is figure what I have and better. I hope to get back to regular life soon!

Awesome and Awkward Thursday

2011-03-17T18:28:00.000-07:00

Awkward:

Going to the dentist and having his assistant say "Hi Alyssa Wow you look really grown up! your face has really matured" ...Thank You?

Going into a restaurant and seeing people at the door who look like they're opening the door for me but really they were opening the door a little bit so they could stare at my walker more. No I am not E.T

Flipping through the channels and landing on a reality show with a girl in a dress with her VAG hanging out! Whats our world coming too?

Going to bed at 9:00pm

My mom buying me 3 dollars pjamas that say hannah Montana on them. She said she got them in the adult section and didn't notice that they were hannah montana.

Even more Awkward...me wearing them.

Awesome:

Spending a few days with my best friend.

Getting him to system restore store and fix it up for me. He's a genius

Scotty McCreery from American Idol...He's so cute and I love his voice

Going to the Apple store

Being at the cash of one of your favorite clothing stores and the girl saying your bill is 167 dollars but had it not been for all the sales it would have been 400 dollars. SCORE!

How Strong do you think I am?

2011-02-28T19:27:00.000-08:00

I love blogging. I've been part of the blogging community for more than a few months now and its been such a great experience. I have had the opportunity to meet and become friends with so many lovely ladies I would never know otherwise. I love reading whats going on in everyones lives and giving and getting wonderful advice. I try to keep my blog full of happy and positive things but life isn't butterflies and bubble gum all time. Everyone once and awhile we hit a pothole and things get thrown off course...

So I've decided I want to give you the real picture. What my life really looks like aside from what I am loving or whos oscar gown I think was the best. (If you don't want to read this its ok I know its long)

For those of you who don't know I have been going through alot of health issues. I went away to school last September when halfway through the semester I got very sick and had to be hospitalized for six weeks. I was having constant nausea and was throwing up alot during the day. I also got a kidney stone while I was there. The doctors could never figure out why I was so sick and basically once the vomitting stopped they said its was ok for me to go even though I still wasn't feeling better. They said once I got off of hospital food and had a good home cooked meal I would feel better. They lied...

It is now almost a year and a half later and I am still not better. I am nauseous all day long, have no appetite, have extreme pain in my stomach and it gets worse after I eat. I have gone for every test humanly possible and no one can find a thing. I am many different medications including some that are meant for chemo patients (to help with nausea)

Over the last few months things have been getting worse. I am getting sicker instead of better. I have lost almost all my strength, I'm almost never able to leave the house (today was my first time in over a week), I hardly ever get out of my pjs, I just got an electric wheelchair, my meals are getting smaller and smaller. People come up to me and comment on how pale I am.I haven't told anyone this because I have been too embarrassed but the I know have a caretaker who stays with me during the day because it is too dangerous for me to be on my own as I often feel faintish and I have someone who comes in helps me with my bath. (these services have been provided to me by the health care/social work service place in my area)

To go from being completely independent to suddenly needing so much help as been extremely difficult. If you know me at all I have never been one whos good at asking for help. I'm good on my own. I don't like to depend on anyone or have anyone feel like I need them. Until today no one knows the extent of what I've been going through. I have kept most of my friends and loved ones at a distance because I don't want them to see me in this weak place or think less of me. I've done a really good job at staying away but its gets lonely. There is no one to really talk to about what I'm going through or how I'm feeling or to simply distract me for a little awhile. Sometimes it hurts my feelings that no one really calls to check in or see how I'm doing but then I have to remember I haven't really told anyone. I feel very...alone

My doctor is now filling out a referral for me to go to a special clinic in the States. Its called the undiagnosed and rare disease program in Bethesda Maryland. They only accept a few people per week so I'm praying and keeping my fingers crossed that I get to go. I can't imagine not getting better and having my life be like this. I am also going to see a new neurologist who specializes in autonomic diseases

Today was a really hard day. got an email from my school telling me I am officially no longer a student because I've been on a medical leave for more than a year and that I will have to reapply to the program when I am better. This was a bit of a wake up call for me. It reminded me how much things have changed. Going away to school was my dream and Dal was my dream school. My dream came true and I got in and I was so excited for what this new adventure was going to bring and then boom it was taken away just like that. How did i get here? back living at home with mom and dad, out of school with no life and feeling terrible all day everyday? This was supposed to be the BEST time for me. I thought I had it all.School, scholarships,friends, a social life. What I wouldn't give to be feeling better and back in school. Saying goodbye to my school and all of the wonderful experiences I thought I was going to have was hard. Also I met two of the best friends I've ever had where I went to school and now I never get to see em cause of how far apart we are. I just feel like a failure.

I don't know where I am, what I'm doing or where I am going but God I hope this is over soon.

If anything positive has come out of this its that I now appreciate even more all of my blessings. Things can change in an instant so enjoy the moment. enjoy every moment. For anyone going through something similar or just going through I hard time, keep your head up!

Thought I'd share this song with you guys. You probably knew I'm a huge Carrie Underwood fan and I just love this song. I listen to it whenever I am feeling down

Oscars Best Dressed 2011

2011-02-28T18:25:00.000-08:00

And let me not forget the lovely Miss Anne Hathaway AKA Oscars cohost 2011 AKA cute as a button. I thought she did a great and looked fab thanks to the lovely styling of none other than Rachel Zoe. Love all her looks except for that blue latex disaster yo

Now all I want to do is curl up on the coach and watch The Princess Diaries 1&2 and dream that maybe one day i'll find out I'm a princess and find prince charming waiting for me!

Top 2 Tuesday

2011-02-22T20:27:00.000-08:00

Its Top 2 Tuesday over at The Undomestic Momma

Things I've learned from my parents and grandparents

{One} You don't need to have a lot to be happy. Its the quality of people you have in your life

{Two} Choose the people you surround yourself with carefully. My Dad always told me that the life you have is reflective of the people around. To have good things you have to be around good people

{Three} A Please, Thank you or your welcome goes along way. This is my number one piece of advice that I pass on to anyone who will listen. People will always remember a well mannered person. The best compliment I get is that I have great manners.

{Four} Treat others the way you'd like to be treated.

Thoughtless & Awesome and Awkward Thursday!

2011-02-10T06:50:00.000-08:00

I love this shoot of Jayma Mays (Emma Pilsbury) and her hubby from Glee for The Nest!! I obviously LOVE Glee and I always thought she fab with her little outfits but when I found this blog all about here style I became a little obsessed!

And now It's awesome and awkward with Thursday with My girl Syd!

Awesome :

- The chicken curry we are having for dinner. YUM YUM YUM. I love spicy food so Indian food is high to die for list

- Getting Mail. Getting mail makes me so happy...I would get rid of email if it meant I could get a package in the mail everyday

- Watch the movie "You Again" with my mom and her saying "wow you look just like Odette Yustman" Gee whiz thanks Momma.

- The box of Rice Krispies I found in the Pantry. Score!!!

- My obsession with yourwiscake's blog I just love this girl. Some could say its awkward but I say Awesome

Awkward :

- Watching Justin Bieber surprise a fan on Ellen and me saying "this is so bad. her skirt is so short and shes all over him (sitting on his lap). So trashy I would have done that when I was her age. Mom: PUHH LEASE! Your telling me if you had met Justin Timberlake at 15 you would throw yourself at him. I'm pretty sure some of skirts were shorter than hers. THANKS ALOT MOM! HAHA

- Speaking with someone that speaks a different language than you. You try and talk to them as much as you can in their language but then your small attempt and speaking their language makes them think you fluent. They start talking a mile a minute and you have no idea what their saying

- Getting my new Electric wheelchair ( for when I have to walk alot) and as the mechanic is explaining to me how everything works I am thinking "Boy, I hope my dad is listening because this is going through one ear and out the other"

- Going to a restaurant and never being offered wine! The fact that the waiter does not even think their is a possibility that I could be legally allowed to drink annoys the heck out of me. I know I look like I am 12 but I am 20 swear to God. I don't really drink all that much anyways but I'd still like to be asked

SO What/What I am loving Wednesday?

2011-02-02T13:11:00.000-08:00

So What

if I've worn the elastic waist jeggings i got for christmas two days in a row (so far). They are comfortable and make my tush look pretty darn good if I do say so myself

that I had a chocolate chip pancake for breakfast...they were organic.

if I want up early to watch tlc's 19 kids and counting (sometimes the little couple) they are just so wholesome and happy. Its nice to see in a world with charlie sheen and his prostitutes that are some really NICE

if I am more excited about that fact that Glee is coming back on sunday then I am about the superbowl.

if I want to know how the movie "The RoomMate" ends without actually seeing it because I am too scared. Seriously I watch Dateline and get scared haha

And now What I am Loving:

I am loving

that it is wednesday and American idol is on and I get to see my new crush Steven Tyler. Hopefully I won't ball again like I did after seeing Chris Medina aka the guy whos finace was in a bad car accident.

that my girl Miss Britney Spears has a new album coming out!

The Lost Valentine with Jennifer Love Hewitt and Betty White

I really really enjoyed this movie. It was such a good story. and it totally made me wanna go out and get me some red lipstick and old fashion styled dresses. I swear I was born in the wrong era.....lookin at this guy didn't hurt either

YUM!

that Katy Perry is coming to montreal!!!! Ahhh just need someone to go with me. Any takers? :)

all my bloggy friends!!! y'all are the best <3 xoxo

Beauties at the SAG

2011-01-31T07:26:00.000-08:00

I am just going to put it out there...I love me some Alexander McQueen (except when its on Lady Gaga) The world really lost an extremely talented designer the day he passed. I love the shape of this dress. Its beautiful. I think red is such an elegant color.

You go Brittany S. Pierce you go. I don't know about y'all but I think Heather Morris is Fabulous. I never really noticed her until the golden globes but shes been coming out looking great all the time. I find it so funny how plain looking she is on glee and so stunning on the red carpet.

Love this dress!!

Can I just say I love this girl. She was on Ellen the other day and she was super. She joked because she plays a 15 year old on modern family but she's really 20. She said its ok ...I got the part because I'm 20 and look 12 haha. Story of my life. When I go to restaurants and we order wine the waitress never brings a glass for me. I'm not a big drinker so its ok cause I usually stick with diet coke but I'm always offended that they didn't even think to offer.

Another show stopper for the beautiful lea michele

What the heck is this??? horrible just horrible.

What I'm Loving/So what Wednesday!

2011-01-26T14:39:00.000-08:00

I'm loving B from Atlantic Pacific. She has the best style and is cute as button. I may or may not have spent hours drooling over her clothes. You need to check her out. Click Here

I'm loving that American Idol is back and I ACTUALLY like it BETTER with the new Judges. Steve Tyler is a hoot and I think JLO is the perfect mix of kind and smart with actual advice to give.

I'm loving Pink's new song F*ckin Perfect.

I am loving online shopping and think I will spend some time browsing tomorrow. NOT loving some sites shipping rates. base price 22 dollars? no thanks (where are some fav places to shop online?)

Now for so what wednesday over at Life after I dew (Don't you guys just love shannon she's kind of fab!!)

So What that unless I am going to the doctor I wear pjamas...No one sees me.

So what that sometimes I don't do anything to my hair after getting out of the shower. I can't be bothered

So what if I drink more diet coke than water..I like it

So what if thursdays are one of my favorite days because its a good tv night

So what if i eat alot of carbs... theres a new diet (the carb lovers diet) and they were on rachael ray so i say its legit

Golden Globe Round Up

2011-01-18T05:13:00.000-08:00

Ever since I was a little girl all I've ever wanted to to wear glamourous gowns everyday. I love them. Seriously I would wear a dress every day if I could. I wanted to do prom 10 times over not because it was a great experience but because I wanted to wear as many fancy dresses as I could

Here are some gowns from the golden globes that I wish I could steal

Do I really have to comment? LOVE.

I LOVE THIS DRESS SO MUCH. It's Big, Bold and Beautiful. The color is lovely and I love how fancy it is. She looked Gorgeous and it was nice to see how well her and her husband are doing after his cancer scare. Just fabulous

href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_4TSPoeQF5rc/TTWSi0Ivn9I/AAAAAAAAAM4/ANzY43meGYE/s1600/3837c4a3d07067da_Glee_Girls.jpg">

The Glee cast went big this year looking a bit of alright. I think Heather Morris AKA Brittany S. Pears was looking good. This is mean but I've only ever seen her on Glee and I thought she was really unattractive but on the red carpet she's beautiful. Is that just me? Do you think they change her look on the show on purposed

Dianne Agron was a classic beauty in J Mendel. She always looks so fabulous. I love the simplicity of the dress and the way it flows. I think the red lips were the perfect pop of color.

I am just going to put it out there...I am lovin me some mustard yellow this season. I thinks it so fresh and fun and is the perfect way to remember that sunshine does exist (even through all the snow) I think Keira looks amazeballs. Her dress seems really similar to the dress Michelle Williams wore to the 2006 Oscars=

Ah My girl Carrie and I are having a bit of tiff right now. She came to Montreal with her hubs not too long ago and their rental BMW full of shopping bags was stolen and now Carrie says she never coming back to Montreal. I think that was a bit extreme cause I mean C'Mon that could really happen anywhere. I would be upset too but don't stereotype a whole sit based on one thing Its not even her car. I still love you though Carrie and hope you'll come back. Doesn't she look fab? I love the sparkles on the dress and I find that ever since she's been with Mike she just glows with happiness. I guess its true what Audrey Hepburn said "The happiest girls are the prettiest girls"

Not only does Mrs. Wahlberg have good arm candy but she's rocking it in this fab dress. I love the detail in the bust and the color is gorge

Is it just me or is it ridiculous how pretty Selena Gomez is? For someone so young she always looks so well put together. Her crotch is never hanging out, no nipple slips...she's all class. (which is more than I can say some people these days. I love this dress and I want it for myself. The color is great and I love how you get a peek-a-boo of cleavage without it being too over the top

Pink and ruffles ....enough said

What were your favorites?

Where in the world has Aly been?

2011-01-14T05:11:00.000-08:00

Hello there blog...oh how I have missed you

the last couple of weeks have been...well.... like hell to say the least. I have been feeling really sick. I don't know whats been happening but whatever this thing that have is getting worse. I lost some weight and its really hard to eat ..not good times. There putting the referral soon for me to go to the undiagnosed clinic in bethesda maryland. I really hope I get accepted and get to go.

Ok so enough about all the negatives!!! Guess what? All you canadian fashionistas out there better sit yourselves down because this is BIG. (Drum roll please)

TARGET IS COMING TO CANADA!!!! Yes thats right I said TARGET! Every fashionista on budget's dream right? I am so excited I've never been before and I am dying to go and snag me some major bargains. I don't know how long its going to take for them to build..all I know is all the be the first in line when it opens. haha

To go with my good mood I thought I'd share some quotes that have kept my spirits up lately...

The Prettiest girls are the Happiest girls -Audrey Hepburn

Happiness is a mood not a destination

Imperfection is beauty. Madness is genius it's better to be absolutely ridiculous then be absolutely boring- Marilyn Monroe

To wish you were someone else is to waste the person you are

Nothing is Impossible. The word itself says I'm possible- Audrey Hepburn

Happy friday!!!

I whip my hair back and forth

2010-12-16T19:44:00.000-08:00

Hey Y'All

So it's that time of year again! No...not christmas...its time to get my hair did. As I have probably mentionned on here a zillion times getting my hair done is like soooooooooooooooooo stressful for me. Pretty much Hive producing (ok I'm exaggerating a little but it feels like it) I make up my mind and then I get in that chair and its like my mind goes blank and I just let everyone take over. I get so worried about how its going to turn out and what its going to look like. In my perfect world I would go to the hairdresser's and they would dye my hair every option ive been thinking of so I can see and then let choose. (if only) Sunday is D day or shall I saw hair day so I thought I'd bring to you my lovely and wonderful readers the choices that are going through my chaotic head right now and see what you think...part of me wants to go lighter and part wants to go darker. As you'll see my head is all over the place haha

Let me know what you think....or if you have any ideas of your own!!!

A quick hello

2010-12-13T20:05:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone,

How are you? Whats new? Sorry for my lack of posting I've been feeling super sick and today is my first day back on the computer in a few days! HOLY COW, I KNOW!! I promise I'll be back to regular posting soon!!!

Hope Y'all are doing well

Shout out to Miss Sam for sending me a cute little note! Made me feel special:) Thanks girl you are fab!!! Check her out people...she's the bomb!!

xoxo

Day 7 of the christmas challenge

2010-11-29T18:07:00.000-08:00

Today's topic is favorite DIY Holiday craft

I'm going to be honest I'm as good at crafting as I am an cooking. And if you know me you know that turning on the stove is an adventure for me. (for those of you think I am exaggerating I am not) haha. I do however dream of being as crafty and domestic as one Miss Martha Stewart. (Stop laughing it could happen) It will happen and when it does you can call Stewart ...Aly Stewart:))))

Ok I'll stopping trying to crack a joke and show you my favorite holiday DIY project...Drumroll Please

A pre baked ginger bread house!!! All you have to do is assemble and decorate!! Ok I say easy but I have screwed it up before...I told you I was crafty HAR HAR

I've always loved doing this!! My Gege was the only who ever had the patience to make em with me. My Dad didn't like cause it messy (he still doesn't) but hey its all about making memories right.

So now you know my fave project haha! If you'd like to see REAL DIY projects go to Annie's blog to see her awesome wreath and Aly's blog to see her amazing decorating project

Tomorrow I'll catchin up on outfits for the 30 for 30 so come back!!! (pretty please)

Playing Catch up on the 12 days of christmas challenge

2010-11-28T14:27:00.000-08:00

Love What a hat can do on a messy hair day!! Don't you?

Went shopping for an hour today and let me just ask you is 20 the new 80? Cause let me tell you this little is Pooped with a capital P. I think christmas shopping is gonna be done online this year. A click of my heels (ok a mouse) and there is a gift in my mailbox. Hello perfection.

One: Christmas Holiday Traditions

Growing up an only child christmas totally revolved around me (I know I am lucky) My grandparents (Nana and Poppy & Gege) would come christmas eve and we would play lots of christmas music a la bing crosby and my grandfather who tried and sing like he was Bing himself. I loved it! I would leave out cookies for Santa and we would watch The Santa Clause. I would try and go to bed extra earlier because I thought the sooner I got to bed the faster the big would arrive.

I would wake up between 3 and 5 in the morning (the fam was really happy about this...not) we would all open our gifts and then everyone would go back to bed for a cat nap. Then everyone would wake up and have a nice breakfast and then we would just hang out and check out our gifts while my mom made dinner.

Things have kind of changed in the last few years. My grandparents have all passed away so now we got to me great aunt and uncles for christmas dinner (Uncle A is 94 so this is probably the last xmas with him) and on christmas eve my godmother comes to our house and sleeps over. Last year was strange and fast because I had just gotten out of the hospital the week before and it was the first year with just me and parents. We didn't really have time to go out and get many gifts because I wasn't well. So hopefully this year will be a bit more special!

I kind of can't wait to see what the future and to start even more traditions. I am HUGE on the holidays so who knows what could happen. I can't wait to go crazy decorating my own place, hopefully do some charity work and I can't wait to learn to cook and make a big meal for the ones I love and anyone else who wants to come:)))

Two: Black Friday/ General shopping tricks and tips

We don't have black friday but my goodness do I wish we did

MY NUMBER 1 TIP IS......BE NICE TO YOUR FELLOW SHOPPERS!!!! I know I know we all want a good deal but that does not mean we need to jeopardize our ability to be kind to one another. I cannot even begin to tell you how many dirty looks I get during this busy season. People DO NOT want a disabled person moving slowly in front of them or blocking up the aisle while picking up something. So show a little love

I've found that alot of stores put there new arrival items on sale after 2 weeks give or take. So if there is something your not quite sure of or think is too expensive keep your eye on it and have a little patience. It will go on sale.

If you find an item in a store that you really like but its a bit too pricey..find out the style name of it and search for it online before you buy. You can usually find a coupon code that you couldn't get in the store.

BE Aware of the return policy! I don't about any of you but I hate trying things on in a store. So I usually like to bring in home to try it on. Some stores don't allow money back they just allow exchanges or store credit. If its not a store you usually shop in and its a one off purchase..you don't wanna get stuck with a store credit for a store you don't like

Befriend the manager. This may sound weird but I befriended the manager in a store I like sheerly by accident and it ended up being a bonus. She knew I didn't like going into changing rooms so she would bend the rules and let me bring it home to try it on and I would be able to get my money back. She'd tell me about the quality of some of the clothes and be like my own little shopper in the store

Eat before going to the mall. It will save you money

Wear an outfit that is easy to get on and off is you plan on trying things on. Wear shoes that you can get off quickly if you see a pair you die for. It just makes sense

Three: Most meaningful/Best gift you've received

you know what to tell you the truth I have pretty much loved and felt so grateful for everything I've been given. Ok maybe there was one time I wasn't so happy. When I met this guy who was the son of a coach at my high school and the next day his dad brought me an autographed photo of him snowboarding. I had to be polite and say thanks but when he left I died laughing and tossed it in the trash.

sorry i got a little sidetracked...

The one gift that did mean alot was when my Gege died (he was not my "real" grandfather he was my grandma's boyfriend for 20yrs before she died. didnt know my moms dad til i was older) He died very young and unexpectedly .
brothers and sister told me that he told them he wanted anything he had to go to me. You see he lived in his parents so when he passed his siblings sold the house and split the money between the 5 of them and his share went to me. I couldn't care less about the money its the mere fact that he wanted it to go to me. I loved him more than life and it was just so special. He really didn't have a lot and my mom said that when he found out he could leave something to me he was so happy and proud. he thought his share would just be split umongst his siblings but they said no you can give it to whoever you want.

Runner up; An emerald ring (my birthstone) my nana and poppy gave me when I was eight to signify me becoming a lady.

Four: Tips and Tricks to a budget friendly holiday season

1. Stock up on Christmas cards and wrapping paper AFTER christmas. Its the perfect time to get ready for the following year because they go on sale majorly.

2. If there are things that you want or need that you didn't get for xmas go looking a couple days after christmas. Stores need to get rid of there stock for the new season and there is almost always big sales.

3, Hold on to receipts! you never know when you'll need to return something!

4. Set a budget.

5. Bake goods make people just as happy. Ask Martha Stewart.

Five: Favorite Movies and Holiday Specials

I am probably am a big dork but I love watching Eloise at the Plaza Christmas something or other. She is too cute and everything is PINK. Love it

I also really love

The Grinch Who Stole Christmas

A christmas Carol

The Santa Clause
http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:7EThfYVGAOaJmM:http://www.leawo.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/the-santa-clause.jpg&t=1

ELF

Winnie the Pooh and Christmas too

Day 6: WishList

I am so excited for this because I have no idea what I want so to see everyone else's might give me some ideas.

I would mind getting this baby...

Some fashion books and clothes

Side note: I've had my eye on a wii and a kindle but I don't know if I would use it as much as I think

A little bit of this, a little bit of that

2010-11-23T20:38:00.000-08:00

My Mom looking at my outfit "I am really your doing this 30 for 30 thing whatever it is. Cause seriously I thinking you were losing it a bit. Pjamas EVERYDAY or sweatpants on a really good day in public. I mean C'mon you can run into people you know?" LOL Thanks Mom...I think!

Today's outfit was brought to you by the like of Mrs. Sydney P. from The Daybook. If you haven't checked out her blog yet you must because she is really FAB-U-LOUS. She's got great style, is cute as a button and just a ton of fun. I think I am borderlining stalker territory...I don't know how many times I check her site all I know is the number is probably to high.

In one of her out posts awhile ago she belted her scarf and I thought it was totally cute so today when I was getting this is what happened and I think it turned out pretty good if I do say so myself! Thanks Syd!

Totally Random but ...

1. My day started off so good thanks to Star 92.9 FM Burlington for begining to play christmas music! I woke up to "It's beginning to look a lot like christmas" and it made me all warm and fuzzy

2. Did anyone what Glee? Omg I was BAWLING like a baby! (hold me!) Such a good episode. Loved when Finn sang to Kurt. It was so nice because I think it really showed people that it doesn't matter whether someone is gay or straight, black or white, human or alien we can all be friends and love on another.

3. Dancing With The Stars Finale. Omg I'm not gonna lie I thought it was a little too long lol. I guess Jennifer deserved to win but I really didn't like her. She just seemed like a pain in the butt! I really wanted Kyle to one because I'm not gonna lie I have a bit of crush on his cutie putie self haha. Christina Aguilera was fab I can't wait to see Burlesque. And last but CERTAINLY NOT LEAST I wish The Situation would put his situation away. Seriously why is this guy on TV?!?

peace out

I didn't steal your boyfriend...just his jeans!

2010-11-22T19:08:00.000-08:00

Holy! I wish I could celebrate American Thanksgiving too. Any excuse for a celebration that includes lots of food!

I am a jeans girl. I love em! I think they are the greatest thing since sliced bread. Growing up I couldn't really wear jeans because I couldn't do the buttons up on them. I have a weak bladder and I didn't get meds for it til I was fifteen so I needed something with easy access if you know what I mean and my hand coordination was not all that good. It was almost impossible to find a pair that didn't have button but also didn't look like a belonged in a retirement community. When I did find that pair I held on to em for dear life and wore them at least 3 days of the 5 day school. I was stuck most wearing sporty clothes which was and is quite ironic because I hate sports and do not have an athletic bone in my body. I'd look around at other girls around me and think "Damn you and your nice jeans" And then one day I don't know what happened but I suddenly was able to do them up. Hurray! *Its ok you can hold the applause* And I've never look back since.

As you can see from my recent outfits I am totally love the boyfriend jean right now. I just think their is something so sexy to them. To me they are like the equivalent of wearing your guys shirt and nothing else. Also they are super duper comfy. I feel very Rachel Bilson when I wear em but don't get me wrong my Skinnies will always be numero uno in this girls heart.

I have one problem when it comes to my jeans....I have yet to find the perfect pair that makes me feel good, fits and makes the boys go WOAH! I feel like I've always got plumber joe crack going on in the back or a love little muffin top in front. (who's with me?) size 1 is almost always too small and 3 is almost always too big. I find 2 so hard to find and even when I do they are not always the perfect. I am still searching and praying for the day I find that magic pair and when I do I will buy multiples!!!

Anyone else share the butt crack or muffin top problem? Who makes you perfect pair? ps. excuse the blurryness of the 2nd pic my Dad dropped my camera and now its a little on the fritz.

Where the heck have I been?

2010-11-19T09:14:00.000-08:00

Hey guys! The most horrible blogger ever here. I thought I would let you know why I've totally fallen behind on the 30 for 30 challenge...I've got really bad cold (thanks Daddy what a nice gift) and have been out of bed in a few. I promise to back on monday in full swing and totally caught up? I have got all my outfits planned for the next week! I think sometime you just need a week where you live in your pjamas don't you think? To tide you over till monday I've posted my outfit from monday before it all went down hill

what do you guys have planned for the weekend? thanks for sticking with me! heart you all

Country Influenced

2010-11-12T21:18:00.001-08:00

The CMA's influenced me a little more than I thought! This outfit made me feel very country.
I have to tell you this whole taking my photo everyday is beginning to bring some issues that I am not so crazy about. Have you every had a moment where you thought you were the cats meow lookin all fly to find out you've had toilet paper hanging out of panties for God knows how long? ( I am not talking from experience at all...) We'll that is how I feel every time I load these pictures onto my computer. I look at them and think OMG is that really what I look like? I wish someone would have told me.

I remember the first time it ever really occurred to me that I didn't look like everyone else. Of course I've always know I was different but I mean really felt it. I was in 6th grade and my "helper" decided to get a group of girls together and teach them a dance for the talent show. I was soo excited! Any opportunity to perform really anything in front of audience and I was there. We were doing the dance to JLO's love don't cost a thing and I remember we were practicing in the library during lunch. I looked over at the other girls and I realized that was keep up and quite frankly I didn't look as good as them either. There they were looking like cute little cheerleaders and then there was me Spaz McGee and all I could do was cry. I told my helper that I couldn't do it, I couldn't be in the dance.

I love clothes! I love fashion and I love style. I always have. Lately it feels like no matter what I what I put on it does look like it should because its on me. This might sound silly but I feel like when people look at me all you can see is cerebral palsy. From my bendy legs to my spastic body. I feel trapped..trapped in a sick body and trapped in a disabled body.

All that being said I want this to change. I want to look in the mirror, love what I see and love who I am. Maybe its time to start working hard on making my body as strong as it can be within its limits. Yes, I'm disabled but that doesn't get me off the hook of being healthy. This the only body I am going to have. My greatest instrument so I am going to have to learn to love it.

So I wanted to say to all my stunningly beautiful readers (YES THAT MEANS YOU) If you are feeling, have ever felt or are simple just having one of those days where you don't love yourself REMEMBER there is only one you and that in itself is beautiful. You are wonderful and strong woman. Anything you dream you can achieve. If all else fails email me and I will remind you of how beautiful you really are.

I've by no means gotten to the place I want to be but I will. I heard a great quote on One Tree Hill the other day (who said TV isn't education) "Happiness is not destination its a mood" So lets get in a happy mood!

love for leggings

2010-11-11T15:29:00.000-08:00

Hello all my lovely friends! sorry about my absence these past few days. Its been pretty hectic to say the least. I went for the colonoscopy. Everything is fine! My colon is in tip top shape. Should I be happy bout this? Yes. Am I? No. I'm devastated!! This was the end of the line. My last chance, My last hope of getting a diagnosis. Crying is not something I do very often. Especially not in public but as the doctor said Alyssa, There are no problems to be found. I bursted into tears asking him what am I going to do now. I feel so sick every minute of everyday with no explainable reason for it so far. If this is what life is going to be like I don't want it...I procceed to blubber on about how I feel like a failure for being sick and that I am losing everything...school, volunteering, my social life, the future I am supposed to have. I worked so hard for everything I have and now I feel like I am watching it slip away. I don't know what I am going to do...I have no hope left..I have an appointment with internal medicine in december but really I don't where that will take me. Not only did all this gone go on but I got sick to my stomach multiple times afterwards and by abdomin has been so sore...fun I know

So for now all I have is my little old blog and my wonderful bloggy friends...OH AND ONE MORE THING...CLOTHES!! Thank goodness! Nothing like a pair of cozy legging to brighten up the day. (Side Note: Have you seen the new sequins legging they have out there? when the 30 day challenge is over) So I decided to wear em 2 days in a row. Fashion faux pas? maybe. Do I care? No I was comfy.

On another note did anyone what the CMA's last night? OMGeeee do I love me some country. I wish I was southern so I could say things like yall without have people look at me like an alien. A little southern girl twang wouldn't be so bad either. Forgive me I am getting side tracked. My girl Carrie Underwood was hosting it up with Brad Paisley if I do say so myself..and she was looking FAB-U-LOUS as usual! I loved her outfits and her hair so I thought I'd share pics with you guys. I wouldn't mind looking a quarter like her.

I think its safe to say I have a bit of a girl crush on Mrs. Carrie. lol I was also loving Rascal flatts song why wait and sugarland's performance of their song stuck like glue

Who says you can't mix patterns

2010-11-08T19:18:00.000-08:00

No make up, oh so bendy legs, not so coiffed haired....welcome to day 1 of the 30 for 30 remix. I KNOW your all jealous right now! (OK stop laughing) My momma's reaction to this little number I put together "Your not allowed to wear stripes and flowers. Its just not done or at least thats what I've been told" Well Momma your little lady was always one to break some rules ...why stop now! I would have taken more photos but my camera died opps! All I have to say is thank god I am not a model for a living. (for many reasons)

Now onto bigger and better things!! I have a new design thanks to the lovely Miss Jenn at Munkinland designs and I have to say I am totally loving it! I hope you love it to. We're still in the proccess of getting thing up and running but so far so good<3

hope you're all having a marvelous! I have to say I am not looking forward to tomorrow...I'm going for a colonoscopy (EKKK!) Although I will be happy to get it over with cause today hasn't exactly been a party. Let's just say the prep work for this procedure is NOT may I repeat NOT FUN! All I have to say is I was a queen on the throne all day (TMI SORRY) Hopefully I can make going for a colonoscopy look fashionable. I can't wait to actually eat something! So fingers crossed that maybe tomorrow they will actually find out why I have been so sick for a year now.

wish me luck

30 for 30 remix challenge

2010-11-07T20:40:00.000-08:00

I am sure you have all heard about Kendi from Kendi Everyday...if you haven't checked out her fashion blog You MUST! Kendi is an extra fabulous lady who has incredible style and a wicked sense of humor. Seriously after checking out her blog all you'll want to do is go shopping with her.

Not only is she fashion savvy but she's also budget friendly and she came up with the wonderful 30 for 30 remix challenge. Here's the explanation from kendi herself
Ok so... what is the 30 for 30?

The 30 for 30 is something I came up with in April to help me learn my way through my closet by remixing my clothes. So here is the basic premise, I take 30 items from my closet (shoes included) and mix them into 30 different outfits over about a month period.

So you want to try it out? Good for you. Here is how to do it.

1. Pick out 30 items from your closet. Shoes are included in the count, coats and accessories (i.e. tights, jewelry, hats, gloves, and so on are not.) I won't use a coat yet here in Texas, but you might in say Chicago so I don't want to penalize you for Mother Nature's wily ways.

2. Remix the 30 items into 30 or more outfits.

And that's it! Ok -- not totally.

3. No shopping for 30 days.

Eek! Why in the world would I add insult to injury? Well so that you'll learn to work with what you've got and you'll learn to appreciate it. Learning to shop your own closet will in turn help you learn to shop outside of your closet. When you have to get creative with your wardrobe you discover other ways to wear a shirt or skirt, that you might not have thought of. Or you might just discover that you really like a certain type of skirt or that you gravitate towards a certain type of jacket, etc.

So I 've decide to take on the challenge!!! and I am really excited. Here are my 30 items!

5 pairs of shoes
4 pants
2 skirts
2 Jackets/blazers
12 tops (1 not pictured..in the laundry)
3 cardigans

So get ready tomorrow for day 1 and some other exciting things:)

Some More blog Challenge:Day 22-25

2010-11-04T17:25:00.000-07:00

Day 22: Favorite City

Honestly I have no idea. I really have loved everywhere I have been so far except Jamaica (but I think I didn't like where we stayed) Although I do have to say I love going to the states because there are the best deals and such great shopping! I love burlington vermont such a cozy town and people are really nice! Can't wait to do more travelling!

Day 23: Favorite Vacation

The first thing that comes to mind is our family trip to the west edmonton mall. It is the largest mall in canada! It has a water and theme park, a hotel that has themed rooms and great shopping! I was 7 when we went and the biggest reason why I loved was cause my cousin timmy who is a couple years older than me came (he lives in edmonton) and we had so much fun playing together. Being an only child it was nice to have another young person around. We had a BALL! So fun

here's to more fun vacations

Day 24: Something you've learned.

I don't know about you but some days a feel like I've learned so much and other days I think I know nothing

1. Actions speak louder than words
2. At the end of the day all that matters is love
3. you can plan all you want but someetimes things go in a direction they never thought they would
5. things can change in a second
6. giving back is so important
7. hugs are good
8. YOU HAVE TO LOVE YOURSELF

Day 25: Ipod shuffle
1. Michael jackson - remember the time
2. Jesse Mccartney - Anybody
3.Cobra starship - good girls go bad
4. Jessica Simpson - with you
5. Rascal flatts - here comes goodbye
6. Ashlee Simpson - that's why i love you
7. Nick Lachey- On your own
8. Nsync - I want you back
9.Mario - how do i breathe
10. Carrie Underwood - songs like this

Whats on your ipod? What are some of your favorite apps?

blogger Challenge Catch up: 18-21

2010-11-01T21:06:00.000-07:00

Omg guys where the heck have I been!! I didn't think I'd been gone that long..sooo sorry! I have not been feeling well lately. My new BFF is my bed.

Alrighty on that note time for some serious catch up in the blogger challenge! Ready? 1,2,3...GO

Day 18: Something you regret

Honestly I don't think that I regret anything that has happened my life so far. Are there things I wish would have turned out differently, Yes! but I don't know where I would be or what would really happen if things turned out different. I know how I wanted them to turn out but that is just a fantasy in my mind...a different scenario could be way worse than i could imagine. So I am going to say no I don't regret anything right now.

Day 19: Something you miss
I miss my Gege! I came across an essay question I answered for a scholarship I applied for. It was "tell us about a family member who has influenced you"
3. My grandfather who I called Gege has been a very influential person in my life. He was my grandmother’s partner for the last twenty years of her life. My biological grandfather was not in my life until I was older and so Gege became more of grandfather to me. He was an amazing man and has impacted my life in way I will not forget. He was one of the kindness men I have ever known. He taught me how to be a compassionate person and showed me how one simple act of kindness can make a big difference in another person’s life. My grandfather spent his life giving to others all the while not having much himself. I spent a lot of time with him visiting elderly people who he did housework and errands for. Although he would occasionally charge a small fee he spent a lot of time with them that he not receive compensation for. He became friends with all the people he worked with and you could always see how much they loved him. There was one women that he had been working for who was diagnosed with alzemiers. She became increasing ill and my grandfather would take care of her out of the kindess of his heart. She had a very specific diet because she had many allergies so my grandfather would make her all the foods she liked and could eat. He would visit her every weekend and a lot of the time he would bring me with him. He was very patient with her as she would repeat the same stories constantly but he was always there to keep her company. The woman would call him frantically in the middle of night because she would be fearful and forget how to get into bed or do other simple things. He never was angry about her phone calls and would always take the time to calm her. Once she went into the hospital my grandfather would visit her everyday and bring me with him on weekends. He taught me how importance of caring about others and making sure they are ok. I don’t think he ever realized the effect he had on the people he worked with. It was something he did out of the kindness heart. He was such a gentlemen. He showed respect to all people, especially his elders. As much as he instilled in me the importance of kindness, the greatest gift he gave me was love. He loved me without any expectations. I could be whoever I wanted and it didn’t matter to him because he just loved me. He always made me feel like there was nothing in the world I could do or say to make him love me any less. I went through a period where I was severely bullied at school because I walk with a walker.i had no friends and the only interaction I had was with my family. Each weekend he would spend time taking me shopping or to a restaurant. He always made sure that I felt special and he would do whatever to put a smile on my face. He didn’t have a lot but gave so much to others without realizing it. I feel so blessed to have known him. Although he is no longer with me his unconditional love and kindness will be with me forever. I will be able to go through life knowing that it’s not how much you have, its about how much you give.

Day 20: Nicknames

My dad has this funny and sometimes terrible thing where he has to make things rhyme so my nicknames from him are: Al the pal, Alyssa Pizza, Aly Oupster, Meat head (doesn't rhyme but he likes to jokingly call me this...he's lucky i like him)

Mom calls me sweet pea, Angel face, Schnuggie (I don't know where she gets it)

My poppy always called me Stinky because when I was a baby my mom undressed me to take a bath and handed me to him and I pooped on him (TMI..Sorry)

Most friends and family just call me Aly

Day 21: Picture of yourself

This picture makes me giggle. Its from my trip to Saskatoon to visit a friend. I was going through a really rough time and needed to get away from home. I was so happy to be there and so care free and relaxed. Love it!

Blogger Challenge Day 17: what I'm looking forward to

2010-10-27T20:41:00.000-07:00

I am looking forward to:

Getting a diagnosis and figuring out what is wrong with my stomach (it has to happen eventually right?)
Going back to school and getting my degree.
Falling in love for the first time
meeting all people who will enter my life
For journey ahead of me- for the first time in a long time I can honestly say I have no idea what is going to happen and that really scares me but I guess that means the possibilities are endless

OH!! Almost forgot I'm looking forward to christmas!

What are you looking forward to?

Blogger Challenge Day 16: Home Sweet Home!

2010-10-26T19:27:00.000-07:00

The idea of owning my own home and getting to decorate it makes me absolutely giddy!!!!
Who knows what kind of house I'll end up living in all I know is I'll be blessed to have whatever I'm given.

I'd love to have
A modern house with a cozy country feel
big backyard
a pool
lots of room without being so big that you get lost
lots of natural light
wrap around porch
something that makes me happy and feels like home

blogger Challenge day 14&15

2010-10-25T16:46:00.000-07:00

Hi Y'all! How was weekend? Alirghty lets get started

Day 14: A picture you love!

Excuse the major red eye haha! This picture is really nothing special but I love it. I was 15 when it was taken and I was on a week long exchange in the summer. I had just gone through the worst year of my life after being bullied terribly. I was going to start at a new school at the end of summer and I was so afraid of what the future had in store. I was so happy to be away from my life and that whole trip really helped me have hope again and be happy. I remember thinking for this one week I can just be myself and have fun. the girl in the photo feels free and doesn't care what people think. i hope to find her again

Day 15: Favorite bible verse

I am ashamed to say I have never read the bible and don't really know any verses. But I do want to start reading it! Its on my to do list. But I did love the ones katie posted on her blog so I am going to share those with you

"Don't be anxious about tomorrow. God will take care of your tomorrow too. Live one day at a time." -Matthew 6:34

and
"All beautiful you are, my darling; there is no flaw in you." - Song of Songs 4:7

What are some of you favorite bible verses?

Blog Challenge Day 13: Goals,Goals,Goals

2010-10-23T09:20:00.000-07:00

Happy Saturday Y'All!!! What are you up to today? We are celebrating my mom's birthday (its on monday). Every year my godmother and mom's best friend makes her famous spagetti with italian sausage, meatballs and ribs. To finish it of she gets a cake from the best bakery EVER!! Needless to say I am drooling at the mere though of all the yuminess! Hope I'm actually able to eat!

And Now to the Blog Challenge Day 13: Goals. I think it so great to have goals but sometimes it gets me in trouble. I set so many for my self and expect so much from myself that sometimes it feels like I can't breathe. theres so many things that I want for myself that forget to be proud of what I am doing.

Finish my undergrad degree as fast as possible when I am better and back to school
Get healthy: I really want the doctors to figure out whats wrong with me like yesterday. I'm working hard to do whatever I can to get better and I finally do I want to create workout plan and be as healthy as possible so I never have to go through this again.
Really start to enjoy my twenties and have as many experiences as I can while I am still young and only am responsible for myself and before I graduate and have to get a full time job.
Get back into volunteering
live on my own
Learn to love myself
Find what happy means to me and just be it

Being sick has really shakin up my world. I thought I had everything figured out and the all of sudden everything i worked so hard for is gone (for now) School and volunteering and being so busy was such a big part of my life and not being able to do that right now really made me feel like a failure and sad. but I'm trying to take this time as lesson and learn as much I can until we figure whats wrong with my stomach.

What are your goals?

Blog Challenge Day 11&12 & Amber's giveaway

2010-10-21T20:17:00.000-07:00

Its pretty late and day 12 of the challenge is already up so I figured I'd do these two together

Blog Challenge Day 11: Favorite TV *Warning this list is long* ..Yes I watch too much TV...No I don't care (haha)
big bang theory
rules of engagement
grey's anatomy
private practice
tori and dean: home sweet hollywood
four weddings
say yes to the dress
battle of the wedding planners
the little couple
19 kids and counting
one tree hill
90210
gossip girl
princess
rachel zoe project
giuliana and bill
teen mom
bethenny getting married
hellcats
coronation street
general hospital

Day 12: What I believe

I believe ..
laughter is the best medicine
its ok to leave your pjs on all day if you feel like
in wearing pretty clothes
always working on improving yourself
love is all that matters
carbs are good
blogging is good for the soul
a little makeup never hurt anyone
in saying i love you
in giving hugs
in sending letters in the mail
taking photos is important
theres nothing a little chocoloate won't fix
trying things that scare you
in giving back
the heart is where true beauty lies
every girl should have a walk in closet

THAT ALL MY FOLLOWERS ARE BEAUTIFUL:))

My good pal and fashionable blogger Amber from Amber's Notebook is giving away a 100 dollar giftcard to shopbop and it ends at 12 pst time! go here to check it out!! http://www.ambersnotebook.com/2010/10/giveaway-and-designer-spotlight-100-to.html good luck

Blog Challenge day 10: Boo!

2010-10-20T18:33:00.000-07:00

Happy Hump Day!! I'm finally caught up on the blog challenge!! Today's topic is something your afraid of. Get ready to laugh because I am afraid of alot of things.

Birds: They share the living daylights out of me. I feel like they are always staring at me like the want to peck me to death or something.

Anytime of Rodent: I don't think I need to explain....just ewwwwwww!

Public Speaking: My hands start to sweat and stutter like its my job. I always talk at a mile a minute cause the faster i go the quicker its over.

Scary Movies: Hello! ...Its SCARY! why would I want to put myself through that. I've never seen one nor do I plan too

Walking alone at night: I hate it and will do anything to have someone with me!

What are you afraid of??

I'm a Jess LC ambassador!

2010-10-20T09:50:00.000-07:00

If you haven't checked out Jess at Make Under My Life your missing out. Go there right now! (Ok not right now but when your done reading this post) Jess is such an amazing woman has such a wonderful site. She is so inspiring and believes on living life with intention and have your life be about having less stuff. I think its an incredible idea and I've totally embraced and I am working on living my life the same way.

Not only is Jess an amazing person but she is also a very talent Jewellery designer. Her company is called JessLC and she makes the post beautiful Jewellery. I want everything! (Hello Christmas list) My favorite is the Franklin Collection because it features necklaces with inspiring words on them. But WAIT it gets better on the other side of the necklace it has the word but in braille (for those of you who don't its the language blind people use to read) How COOL is that!! I have a few friends who are blind and I think it is so awesome that she made them accessible to everyone.

So I have become a JessLC ambassador! What does that mean? It means that I am lover of her Jewellery and I want everyone to know about it. thats why you'll see this lovely button on my blog from now on

I wanted to be an ambassador because I really feel like Jess's positive attitude and outlook on life is part of her jewelry because it comes from her heart. so who would want to wear beautiful jewelry with positive energy

hopefully I'll have a give away for you guys soon!!!! Come back later for the blogger challenge day 10!

Blog Challenge day 8-9

2010-10-19T22:06:00.000-07:00

If you are still following you deserve a gold start and I want to give you a big hug!

Day 8- Places you've travelled too
We haven't been on a real travel to another country vacation since I was 11. I don't know but we've just had so much happen that its never been a good time.

As I kid I went to Ireland,Hawaii (twice), Bahamas, Jamaica,California and Lake George

In the last couple of years I've travelled alot around Canada. I've been to Saskatchewan,Newfoundland, New Brunswick,Prince Edward Island, Nova Scotia and Alberta

Places I'd like to go...

Australia

Ireland (I was only 3 when I went so I don't really remember)

Italy

and really anywhere...I love to travel and experience new things and meet new people. Where do you wanna travel to?

Day 9- A picture of your friends

Blog Challenge day 3-7

2010-10-19T20:23:00.000-07:00

Ok guys this is going to be a long one I hope you'll stick with me...

Day 3- Your first Love

Let me introduce to you my first love...

My baby girl Miss Chelsea!!! I beg for a dog for as long as I remember. Growing up I made lists of boy and girl names I would name my dog and ways I would take care of them and anything dog related I could think of. Finally when I was 11 my parents said ok and let me get a dog. I still remember it like yesterday...as soon as I saw her I wanted to hold her. I fell in love instantly. Then this other family started petting her and started talking about getting her. My eyes immediately welled up at the idea of them taking my blog. I cried to my mom and dad and promised i would do anything to have her. With a bit of convincing they said ok.

I was on cloud nine!! the next day we went to go get her as soon as the store opened. I was proud of my little furball. She licked my face the whole way home and I spent every minute of my summer with her. She was the first thing I talked about when I went to school. Once I was back in school and was home she grew closer to my dad because he was home everyday with her..he's daddy and she loves him more than anyone!! But we still love each other!! I call my prettier sister and I love getting kisses from her. I love her so much

Day 4- your parents.

I have been so blessed with amazing and wonderful parents. I can not tell you how many people tell me how great my parents are all the time.

from my sweet 16 ..excuse my pre braces teeth

Meet Mom : Dancing with stars and tlc lover, wine connoisseur, loves to dress up, is a speed shopper, loves to cook hates dying her hair and puts it off as long as she can. My mom is such an amazing woman. She has always done everything to make sure I have the best possible. She supports me constantly and has always been by my side. Growing up my mom was my best advocate and she always fought to make sure I got the same things everyone else did. She always made sure my walker didn't get in the way and she always made sure I knew I could do everything I wanted. everyday she shows me such love and would do anything for me. She is amazingly kind and would you the shirt off her back. She is the strongest lady I know! I've seen her walk through some pretty tough stuff and she always comes out on the other side. Everything about her amazes me. I don't know what I'd do without her. i love her so much and i love the time we spend together

this is him trying to be ganster haha!

Meet Daddy: funny guy,superman, lover of all things irish, guiness drinker, lover of comedy,hgtv,food network, likes action movies,outdoorsman, storyteller and fur baby daddy
I love this guy so much. He is one of my best friends. He makes me laugh all the time and I enjoy spending time with him. He is such a good person and such a strong man. He injured his back at work a few years and now suffers from chronic pain constantly. this man never complains. he is thoughtful and hardworking and just a big teddy bear. he could not tell a lie to save his life. one of my favorite things to do is listen to him tell a story...hes got so many and there awesome. even though he worked night shift when I was younger he still gave all his time to me and came on all my field trips. all my friends love him hes just an all around amazing guy.

I wouldn't be who I am or where I am today without these to wonderful people

Day 5- your siblings

I am an only child but my best friend is like a brother to me.

I have no him since I was three. we were in the same hospital room as kids when we had our surgeries two weeks apart. We then went to school together for preschool to grade 3 and then we went to college together for 2 years. and the rest is history. We've fought, made fun of each other, laughed together, been through the ups and downs of life together. Sometimes he really gets on my nerves haha but im so glad to have him in my life. I could not imagine what it would be like without him. He reminds me not to take myself to serious, his always there when I need him and he always know how to make me laugh.

Day 6- A picture of something that makes you happy

Auntie M & Uncle A I just love these two to bits

href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_4TSPoeQF5rc/TL5xwC4WMKI/AAAAAAAAAF4/HpZ8hyQ_XuE/s1600/IMG_0347.JPG">

the day everything in my life changed and turned around. I was so happy!! (I also met my first crush..I've talked about him before a jerk but im glad I met him)

My gege!!! I miss you everyday and not a day goes by where I don't think of you. I was so lucky to know u

href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_4TSPoeQF5rc/TL5xvszMc0I/AAAAAAAAAFo/NOh95Dsq39U/s1600/specialed1school+022.jpg">

I loved every minute of working in the special ed class in high school. these kids brought a smile to my face every day.

href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_4TSPoeQF5rc/TL5xvd0RhVI/AAAAAAAAAFg/wHlOqq0k3aM/s1600/fabermxpxandhedleyconcert+033.jpg">

Me with dave from the band Hedley. I had never seen the band before and he was in the audience before the show. I had no clue who he was and he came up to me and said I was beautiful. I didn't realize who he was til my friend started screaming. we got there autographs after the show and he said to one of the other guys thats the girl i was talking about. I realize if he was just doing it to make me feel good but it was still nice. no one had ever said i was beautiful before.

Day 7- Favorite Movies

A walk to remember
13 going on 30
the notebook
rory o'shea was here
ps i love you
the princess diaries movies
sex and the city 1&2
how to lose a guy in 10 days
date night

i could go on forever haha love movies:)

Playing catch up! 30 day challenge day 1&2

2010-10-19T19:19:00.000-07:00

Alot of you have probably heard about the 30 day blog challenge over @ katie's blog...I'm little late but I'm gonna try and catch up!

Day 1- Introduce your yourself, a recent picture and 15 interesting facts!

For those of you who don't know My name is Aly! (Welcome! Thanks for coming) and am a 20 year old from little place called Canada. I am a first year university student studying therapeutic recreation. I am blessed with wonderful life filled with amazing family and friends. I am a self described girly girl who loves all things fashion. I am reality t.v obsession, chick flick lover, magazine loving bookworm, martha stewart wannabe who is known to many as the queen of shopping. I have big heart and love to laugh. I am still figuring out who I am and what I want in my life but I'm having a great time doing it even though I've hit some bumps along the way.

15 Fun Facts about me

One - I was born prematurely at 27 weeks weighing 2lbs 7oz
Two- I use to downhill ski when I was 10 til 12 (I even won a medal)
Three- I don't really like water
Four- I've never a had a "real" boyfriend
Five- I love high heels but I just can't walk in them which makes me sad
Six- I can sing spice girls song on cue ( and dance to STOP)
Seven- I've never been able to bit into frozen treats
Eight- the best things I own are the pictures of my grandparents
Nine- I still enjoy listening to 98 degrees
Ten - I can't eat Kraft dinner without ketchup
Eleven- I can speak french
Twelve- I love volunteering especially at the childrens hospital
Thirteen- The only thing I can cook is scrambled eggs in the microwave.
Fourteen- I am terrified of public speaking and am a constant worrier
Fifteen- The shiners hospital made a video about me when I was little. it was used for fundraising and it won awards

Behind The blog

Nothin but a T-Shirt On came from a line in Jessica Simpson's song With you. Everytime I hear that song it puts me in a good mood. "With Nothin but a tshirt on I never felt so beautiful" I love this line from the song because I love the idea of just being care free with just a tshirt on and barefeet. Nothin but a tshirt on to me is a way to live your life happy and care free and always feeling beautiful no matter. Life is all about finding joy in the simple things in life and thats how I want try and live my life. I'm not quite there but hopefully i will get there!

thanksgiving weekend and some thoughts

2010-10-12T19:46:00.000-07:00

How is everyone doing? I gotta start off by saying what the H-E- double hockey sticks is going on in Hollywood right now? I turned on Access Hollywood to find out Christina Aguilera and her Hubby are splitting up!!! What?!? I always thought they were such a cute couple and seem so genuine and in love. Sad for them:( seems like everyone in hollywood is breakin up...must be something in the water.

Does anyone watch Dancing with the Stars? I am so glad the situation got voted off. Thank goodness and good riddens. I am probably alone on this one but I can not bare to watch Jersey Shore and I refuse to even turn it on!! To you Mr. Situation I would like to say PLEASE PUT YOUR SITUATION AWAY...ALONG WITH YOU DANCING SHOES. Did anyone see Mrs. Brady's rated R dancing that included full on Gyrating. I felt the urge to look away but good for her for keepin things spicy at 75. Does anyone else think Bristol Palin and Mark are a couple? He seems to be really into her..or is it just me?

Now that I got that off my mind I thought I'd share with you my thanksgiving weekend. Our tradition for the past couple years has been to go to my auntie M and uncle A's for dinner and we sleepover!! They are my great aunt and uncle and I could not love them more if I tried. I love every minute I spend with them. My uncle is a young 94 and hes soooo funny. Although he is not in tip top shape his mind is sharp as a tack. He's witty, funny and smart. (and he still has the hots for my aunt and keeps notice of the ladies around him haha) He's diabetic and loves dessert. He always tries to get me to sneak him and extra piece of cake cause Auntie M might say no. I CAN'T say NO. He's 95 who I am to say no ..hes not a child so it makes me feel but i give him very small piece and tell my aunt afterwards. They are still so loving and get along so well. I hope to find what they have someday. They've been married for 55 years. My aunt is sooo amazing too. Shes 84 and in such great shape. you would maybe give her 70. She takes care of him, she drives and they go out alot together. She made a wonderful turkey dinner with all the fixins. I got to spend time with my baby cousin who is 5. He is so cute. I never met him before and now I just love him we had a ball. Also got to chat with other cousin so that was nice. Love catching up with the fam.

The next day Chelsea my dog went outside and got all these burs stuck in her and one close to her eye. the poor thing. She went and got shaved and the vet today and she looks so cute I'll post pictures tomorrow:)

Exciting news!! the new layout should be up tomorrow or by thursday the latest

What did you do this weekend?

Happy Thanksgiving!

2010-10-10T12:11:00.000-07:00

Happy (canadian) thanksgiving everyone!

Sorry I have been MIA...haven't been feeling all that well but I'll be back and better than ever! with a new layout too

gobble gobble!

I'm thankful for each and everyone of you:)

favorite celebs - blogger challege day 6

2010-09-28T19:14:00.000-07:00

Hi Y'all Happy hump day!!!

So today's blogger challenge is 5 people who mean alot to me. To spice things up a bit because I think I been getting kind of boring and repetitive I'm going to do my 5 five favorite celebrities.

1. Jessica Simpson. I have loved her ever since her days on Newlywed days. I think she has a great heart and her bubbly and honest personality is totally endearing.

2. Carrie Underwood. A) I think shes totally beautiful (girl crush haha) b) I love how down to earth and normal she is and c) I just think her and her hubby are so cute and shes glowed ever since they met. Its nice.

3. Hilary Duff. Get ready to laugh! For the majority of my teenagers I wanted to be Hilary Duff or more so in my younger years Lizzie McGuire. I've always thought she seemed like someone you could totally be friends with and have good time. I like that she stayed normal and I think its great all the charity work she does.

4.Sophia Bush I heart this girl! She seems so kind and giving. She does so much for charity and does whatever she can to use her celebrity to help the world. She loves animals like I do and has a bunch of rescues. I think shes really smart and has a good head on her shoulders. She also handled her split with Chad quite graceful I'd say

5. Nicole Richie. Love her style and think shes a total hoot. I think it great how she got her life back together and is doing so well. She seems to be super hard working and a great mom. if i had more money i would own her whole winter kate line lol

Runners up: Bethenny Frankel, Reese Witherspoon.

Who are you favorites?

when you wish upon a star..blogger challenge day 5

2010-09-27T10:59:00.000-07:00

{one} I wish I could have a magic wand that would make my hair look perfect and my make flawless.

{two} I wish I wasn't so far away from my bff's K&J.

{three} I was my grandparents that have passed were still here. I'd love a big hug!!

{four}I wish I wasn't such a people pleaser. Sometimes I wish I could go on a vacation by myself and just have a week where I get to do everything that I want. No caring about what people want or need. Just what I want. no guilt, no giving just plain old Aly time.

{five}I wish I had never accidently been in computer programming class and turned off the girl next to me's computer think it was mine. Omgoodness!!! I'll never forget that poor girls face. She was working on a project and she hadn't saved it. I've never felt so bad in my entire life. I thought my computer tower was on the left and I kept pressing but my screen wasn't turning off then I looked over and saw her staring at me. Opps! I could only imagine the names she wanted to call me.

{six}I wish I was smart enough to know what was going then and be strong enough now to know I deserve better. I'm working on it!! I haven't talk to him for month and he hasn't tried to contact me. I didn't think he would. I realize now I don't think he'll ever be my prince charming.(even though I'd really like him to be.) I also wish he wasn't in all my prom photos lol

Always on my Mind

2010-09-26T12:38:00.000-07:00

{one} I wonder what God has in store for me. Sometimes I think I get so wrapped up in the future that I lose track of the present. I get so worried that I am not going to be successful or that things aren't going to work out. I try to remind myself to breathe

{two} I wonder why I don't have a huge walk in closet? I may be biased but I really think I should! Ladies you understand me right?

{three} Is this really where my life is supposed to be?

{four} Why do I feel so sick? What is wrong with me? Dr. OZ I need you help! Call me.

{five} Dessert would be really good right now!! I don't care what time it is 6am or 6pm it is always a good time for dessert. mmmm!

{six} I should really start working out. I say this every single day! Sooo hard to get motivated and I have yet to find a workout I like.

{seven} Where oh Where is that perfect pair of jeans that make my booty look fab? And do they come in multiple colors HA!

Day 3- Eight thiings I can't without

2010-09-25T07:25:00.000-07:00

{One} The wonderful interweb. I don't know what I would do without the internet. I love hearing from my bloggy friends, facebook, the twitter as betty white likes to call it and all my fashion stuff is online. so basically internet is like the air I breathe haha

{Two} Diet coke/pepsi. It's the only thing that helps my nausea so its a must have.

{Three} Hair Elastics. I am huge believer in the ponytail. Its easy, fixes any bad hair day, and always looks chic

{Four} My family & friends. They are my heart and my soul without them I don't what I would do or who I would be without them.

{Five} My dog Chelsea. I love her

{Six} Sweats. Enough said

{Seven} Food. Yum Yum Yum! Food is what makes my world go round

{Eight} Comedic relief. I don't know what I would do if I couldn't laugh. Its my favorite activity.

9 Things you don't know & new carrie underwood video

2010-09-24T09:03:00.000-07:00

TGIF!! Woohoo! Hope you all have good weekend.

Today is day 2 of the blogger challenge and the top is Nine things about yourself that most people don't know so here goes...
*Note* This is hard cause I don't think I have alot of secrets..we'll see haha

{One} I am totally afraid of being Raped or Murdered. Blame it on too many episodes of dateline and my Dad being my chauffeur my whole life. I don't like walking late at night even if its with other people, I hate getting into taxis (funny thing is I have to use them to get to school), I am neurotic about locking the doors and closing windows, I hate being alone and when I am any noise freaks me out and omg you going to think I am nut but I never walk into a dark room without turning the light on even if I am going to be.

{Two} I've always wanted to be blonde. My eyebrows are very dark so I think it will always been be a dream.

{Three} I can't smile with my mouth closed. I don't know why but if I try to smile with my mouth closed I look ridiculous. Instead I smile and look like a walking set of teeth. I'm super self conscious about my mouth. You see my gums are lower then they are supposed to be so you see alot of them and I don't like. When I was 17, I went a specialist of like the mouth and face I think to talk about getting surgery that would involve getting my jaw broken so they could pull my gums up. They'd have to so my mouth shut with elastic to let it heal and they said my face would be swollen for over a year. I was all for it but my parents said no. Oh well I had really bad teeth before having braces so I am super judgemental of peoples teeth and feel bad for them if they're not good. I know I'm bad!

Before
ewwwww

After
Can you say hello teeth?

{four} I don't know how to turn the stove (its ok go ahead ...laugh)
I know I know its terrible!! My parents cook for me all the time so I've never had to. They always say its easier if we do it so you don't drop something. I do want to learn and am ashamed that I don't know how.

{five} I don't like wine or beer (GASP!)

{Six} I don't like eating in front of other people.
I know it's weird but I don't eat in front of people makes me uncomfortable. I always want I look or what people are thinking of my food choices or dropping something.

{Seven} My own nudity makes me very uncomfortable. I don't care if people around only have dressed or something like that but I hate not being fully clothed. I feel completely out of sorts and want to hide even if I am by myself lol

{Eight} I sometimes like to wear a ring on my wedding finger.
It's stupid and such a girl thing but I do. I wear my grandma's engagement and wedding rings on my middle finger normally but every once and awhile I move them over to that special finger and like how it looks.

{Nine} Every time I see and elderly person I want to go hug them

And as promised the last Carrie Underwood video for Mama's song. Its so good!!! I've watched it 3 times. It totally makes my heart smile. Its so cute to see her with her husband they seem very in love. ENJOY.

10 day blogger challenge!

2010-09-22T18:43:00.000-07:00

Kristen from All in My Twenties is participating in a 10 day blogging challenge about the following, and I thought it be fun too share with y'all. Here's the schedule of topics for any of you who want to join. If you do leave me a comment so I cant check it out:)

Day 1: Ten things you want to say to ten people right now.
Day 2: Nine things about yourself that most people don't know.
Day 3: Eight things you couldn't live without.
Day 4: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day 5: Six things you wish you could change or wish you would have never done.
Day 6: Five people who mean a lot to you.
Day 7: Four turn offs.Day
8: Three turn ons.
Day 9: Two words that describe your life right now.
Day 10: One confession.

So here goes Day 1: TEN THINGS I WANT TO SAY TO 10 PEOPLE

{One} MOMMY: I wish you would take better care of yourself. I get scared because you lost Nanny at 30 and I don't want that too be me. I want you to be around for a long long time. You've been feeling sick alot lately I would really like for you to go to the doctor. I know your scared of doctors and don't like going or wasting your time there but really it would make me feel a whole lot better and hopefully you too. You take care of everyone else and forget to put yourself at the top of the list. I wish you eat more and have better healthy habits. I would love to say this too you but the mere mention of it gets you defensive and your brush me off. I don't think you even begin to realize how worried I get about you because if you did I would hope you would take better care of yourself.

I know you want the best for me and that you love me more than anything but some you good intentions really hurt my feelings. when you make remarks about what I wear, tell me I should put makeup and constantly trying to get me to wear my hair the way you like it...its hard on me. You mean it out of love and because you'd like me to get back to the old Aly before I got sick but right now I don't have a whole heck of alot of energy. I'm not myself and to be honest with you my confidence is at a low and all things your saying is what I am thinking so it only makes me feel bad. We deal with our feelings in completely different ways..I would likeif you thought about what you say when you're angry because I don't even think you know what you saying because if you did you'd never say it. My no means am I perfect either and other than this we have a wonderful relationship. I know you do it out of love because you nothing more than to protect me but remember I have you as Mom and because of that I have been taught well about life. you've given me everything i will ever need and i promise to make you proud

I love you more than words!

{Two} Daddy: You are so brave and so strong. I can even begin to understand what its like to be in chronic back pain all the time. I am so proud of you. All the guys and work love you and thats no surprise cause you a such a hoot. Hopefully things will end up the way there are supposed to be and you can stay home and rest. I try to do everything I can to make your life easier. Its really hard on me sometimes to not ask you to bring me somewhere or to do something. you don't know this but I often turn down offers to go out and stuff because I know you won't want to drive. I try to make all my doctors appointments so you don't have to bring and instead I ask Diane. I understand that your tired from work and your sore its just sometimes I feel like I am walking on eggshells making sure I am not bothering you. I am sorry I am sick and I am sorry I'm sometimes a burden. I wish learning to drive wasn't so hard for me. I AM GOING TO TRY AGAIN and do more lessons as soon as I can back on meet feet. Then I can drive you everywhere and take myself to appointments. you are my buddy and I love you so much. Thanks for watching glee with me last night

{Three} Boy Who Broke My Heart: I don't even know where to begin. There are so many things I would like to say to you but unfortunately I think they are going to go forever unsaid (to you). When I met you, it was the first time I felt visible. You melted my heart and made my heart feel something it never had before. Something inside felt that we WERE forever no matter how long it took to get there. I finally got up the guts to ask you to come here so we could see what we are. You played hot and you played cold and I never was quite sure of your feelings. then finally you said what I wanted to hear and you kissed me (my very first kiss) then you invited me to fly home with you and meet your family. Thats when you said I was your "Best Friend". I had to meet your family and be kind and act happy when all I wanted to do was cry. I came home and I cried and I couldn't figure out what happened. you completely vanished from my life and made it pretty clear that you were back and very happy with your ex. your not with her anymore and we go through these times where you right me and act all flirty and then I don't hear from you. I wish that I could turn off what I feel for you and make it not exist but its there. I can't wait for the day it goes away. All I've ever wanted is for you to be prince charming and be the wonderful guy i thought you were. I don't think thats ever going to happen. I am it for you. So I have to let you go and not wait for you,or talk to you or be excited when you right. I am not a toy you can play with when its a good time for you. So I am saying goodbye to everything I thought we could be. I wish I could understand why you do the things you do. I don't know what will happen in the future...I just hope I find what I've been looking for.

{four} J and K: I miss you both so much it hurts. I wish I was back at Dal with the two of you stressing out over exams and crazy assignments. You are the two best things that came out of going away to school. I know I could tell you anything anything and not be judged. I feel at home when we are hanging and you guys are the sisters I never had. For the first time I feel absolutely comfortable being myself.I think of you ever single day and I promise to be back as soon as you know it. Thank you for showing me what true friendship is and for being the amazing people you are. I don't know what I would do without you. remember we are soulmates..guys are just people we can have with:)

{five} Bullies from high school: I am probably not even a thought in your mind and my name probably doesn't ring a bell but I remember every single one of you. You made fun of me and made me feel like nothing more then dirt on your shoe. I am somehow started to think that you were better then me. I had to spend my lunch hours hiding in an office because I had to be afraid of what could happen. I thought my life would never get better and thought that what you would say to me was what the whole world thought of me. I was wrong!!! I changed schools and thank god I did because that is where I found real friends. I know I am not a thought in your mind but I wanted you to know that you will probably stay with me for the rest of my life. thank you for tearing me down so I could build myself back up and become and even better person. It was 5 years ago but I am still building. If it wasn't for you I would be so close to finding myself at such a young age. I hope that in your lives you remember that words CAN hurt and you think about how you treat others.

{Six) My Blog friends: Thank you to each and everyone of my blog friends!! A few Months ago I didn't even really know the blog world existed and now I don't know what I would do without it. Each and everyone of you have taught me so much. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to let me get a peak into your worlds and letting me know I am not alone. YOU ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL!! You amaze me each and everyday. Thanks for all the support and being the people you are I love you all!!!!

{Seven} Some family members: I really hate that we don't talk and there is so much tension. All I've ever wanted is a big family. Its sad but there is just no trust. One day your there and the next your not I can't deal with that. As much as I'd like to act like not having a relationship with you doesn't hurt me it does. When I see you all doing things together and being friendly on facebook I get jealous. the way things are are for the best and I know that. I've learned that family can be whoever you want it to be and I've done a great job of making my own.

{eight} Nana, Poppy, Gege and Nanny. You are all in heaven now and I miss you so much. I would do anything to be able to see you faces just one more time. Nana: We had a not so perfect relationship when you were alive and I never thought your death would effect me that way it has. I miss you to my suprise and I wish we could have been closer. I wish I could have been who you wanted me to be. More than anything I wish that I had realized when you were alive that as many a bad times as we had we did have some good times and I should enjoyed the more. Poppy: I love you!!! I would love nothing more than to give you a hug and get you to tell me everything that ever happened in your life. I will forever be your stinky. i hope you know how much I love you. Gege- I never thought you would leave so soon. I feel jipted. I miss you every minute of everyday. I hope you are at peace. Thank you for loving me unconditionally and always making me feel like a princess. If only you could know how many people love you and how special you were. Nanny- you've been gone along time. I often wonder what would have been like to have you around growing up. I think we would be best friends and you be like betty white:P I hope you are proud of who I've become. You have never been forgotten. I love you

{nine} Auntie M and Uncle A, & D: Auntie M and Uncle A ...I love you both more than you will ever know you are like grandparents to me. I dread the day you aren't here. I'd like to keep you here with me forever. you both have should me that age is just a number. i hope to find a marriage like yours with all the love in the world:)
D- thank you for being the best godmother ever. you relaxed personality is exactly what I need in my life. you are wonderful person and i dont know what I'd do without you. you are one of kind! you are such a great friend and confidant. I love you.

{ten} Myself: hi lovely. you are so hard on yourself all the time. As much as you'd like to think you are you ARE NOT SUPERGIRL. You are not a failure for getting sick and coming back. It is not you fault. I know you think it is you but you're wrong. you are so afraid of making mistakes that you are missing on the life god put in front of you. Remember you can't fail or succeed if you don't try. Open your heart to life and stop being and more importantly open your heart to yourself. love yourself and treat yourself the way you treat everyone else. this is going to be long journey and you might as well make it the best it can be and learn to love yourself. Love your body now because in years from now you'll wish you had it. Love your face cause its the only one your going to get unless you are Heidi Montag. You disability is not a negative quality. Its just think that makes you have to look at life and how to figure out a different way of doing things. Stop being so afraid of ending up alone because the longer you think that way the long you will be. you have to love before anyone else will. It's time to step up to the plate girl!!

I love you! (even though you are a pain in the ass)

What I am Loving Wednesday!!!

2010-09-22T11:06:00.000-07:00

Happy Hump Day Y'All. Hope everyone is having a good week ...only 2 days left and then TGIF Woot Woot!

What I am loving today...

{One} Reading! I have really got into reading in the last couple of weeks. With TV being BORING with a capital B reading was a great alternative and I'm enjoying it! Right Now I am reading A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. It was Oprah's book club list. I didn't like it at first and was gonna stop reading then he said in the book that if you didn't like the book or found it boring that it was ok it just means you weren't ready for the change. I was like screw you I am ready and kept reading and now I like it :) What are y'all reading?

{Two} The fact that I can soon good back to my wonderful uggs!! I don't you guys but I have missed my comfy cozy uggs and I can't wait to have em back in my life.

{Three} Last nights Glee episode! It was fantabulous wasn't it!! I really enjoyed the songs and I may or may not have a girl crush on Lea Michele

{Four} The movies that are coming out! I really want to see Easy A with Emma Stone. Its about a girl who pretends to lose her virginity. Looks funny. I also want to see You Again with the hysterical Betty White and Kristen Bell( its about a girl whos brother brings home his fiance and she is her enemy from high school) and Life As We Know It with Katherine Heigl and Josh Duhmel ( its about two people whose friends die and they are left to take care of their daughter. They don't get along and have never taken care of a child so it looks like a hoot!)

{Five} Carrie Underwood's video for the song Mama's song is coming out on friday and her Mom and Hubby are going to be in it. I really love the song so I think it'll be good. I'll post it when it comes out:)

{Six} Oprah! I love the season so far and her website has alot of interesting articles on it. She also has a podcast itunes that you guys should totally check out!

Check back later for a new blog challenge I am going to participate in! can't wait to share with ya'll <3

Miscellaneous Mondays:Weekend Edition

2010-09-20T19:58:00.000-07:00

1. It was my wonderful Dad's birthday over the weekend. We had his best friend and his wife over, my great aunt and uncle (my great uncle just turned 94 on friday) and my godmother. My Dad has a VERY bad back that gives him terrible migraines because of trouble with his neck too. Unfortunately he was really sick and had to go to bed for the day:( We still had fun! I love my auntie Monique and Albert to death and hadn't seen them in awhile so it made my heart smile. I was really reminded how lucky I am to have the wonderful people I have in my life.:) Happy belated Birthday Daddy! you are the most strong and courageous man I know. You make me laugh every single day and I don't know what I would do without you. Thank you for everything you do every single day.

2. How cute is my dog? ..I wanna another one haha but my dad won't let us. He loves chelsea too much to bring in another one:( Can't wait to live on my own and have lots of em!

Confession Session

2010-09-17T19:35:00.000-07:00

Hi Y'All... Sorry for being MIA the last couple days. Its been quite busy and stressful. I'm back and better then ever! I thought a good confession session would be a good way to end the week so here we go...

1. Doctor's have really become my frenemies. I used to think doctors were like the holy grail and have big hearts because they want to do everything for you to help you get better. Boy was I wrong!! (ok..thats slightly exaggerating they're not all bad) I have doctors around me my whole life. Hell I spent the majority of the first years of my life living in hospitals. This new experiece of being actually sick and it not being about my disability has really opened my eyes. You would think as a medical professional you would want to do everything in your power to help make someone better. If something is complicated and you can't seem to figure out what is going, wouldn't it spark your interest and get you motivated to look at things from a new angle and see what you can do? Most doctors I see now just say I don't know. You'd think for the medical research alone they would want to find whatever it is.

2. Went to the OBGYN for the first time yesterday. I don't even like to be naked in front of myself so the thought of some seeing me(a man by the way) and even more so touching me had me borderline breaking out in hives HAHA Boy could I have gone for a nice stiff drink. But all turned out well and he was very nice but I am certainly not in rush to go back

3. I am a horrible horrible person. I don't know if anyone has been watching Oprah lately (I've been making a point to watch since its the last season). but I am super duper jealous of all the free gifts and dreams come true people are getting lol. I want to go and meet oprah and be surprised lol If anyone wants to write a letter for me...feel free lol

4. I really wish I had a Bf right now.

5. Chapters (think Barnes and Nobles) is like church to me lol. I walk in there and I just feel at piece and could spend forever in there.

6. My Dad's birthday is this week and I am excited but I secretly hate that my parents are getting older cause I had even imagine them not being her for one second. they're only 50 so I realize I am being irrational

7 I was really disappointed with the season premiere episode of one tree hill...never thought I would say that!

Top 2 Tuesday!

2010-09-14T16:18:00.000-07:00

I am so excited for today's top tuesday over at the undomestic momma I can't wait to read everyones top 2 thing I want to accomplish this year.

1. Love Myself and take charge of my life...

Trying to find find the good in being sick as long as I have can sometimes be But I think having this time off to kind of get to know myself and focus on myself for once. I think alot of time get caught up in where I think I should be and what a should be doing. I do what I think we make everyone else happy and forget to make myself happy. I want to learn to love myself and where I am at in my life. I want to be the best I can be and really enjoy all the different experiences of my life. I try to remind myself that things change so quick that you have to take in everything you can while its there. I vow to work loving the good and bad about myself and not letting others tear me down. I always give everyone praise and the benefit of the doubt and I deserve to give myself the same. life is just too short

2. Get healthy/ In shape....
Typical I know..but I really do want to get health and in the best shape possible for me. As a get older I realize that my disability does prevent me from working out. Its really important for me to be in the best shape possible for me. Not only will make me feel good but I want to be as strong as I can so that I can be as independent as I can. And it wouldn't hurt to get read my tummy pouch. Know what I'm sayin?

What are your top 2's this week?

Not a Mundane Monday...

2010-09-13T15:11:00.000-07:00

Hey Y'all ...Monday is not so Mundane today because...

1. GOSSIP GIRL IS BACK TONIGHT!!!! Shut up right..I know I am SOOO excited:) Oh GG how I have missed you. I can't wait to drool over the clothes and have my heart melt over mr. Chuck Bass:) To honor this wonderful occasion I thought I would share my all time favorite gossip girl scene to date. ENJOY!

Side Note*** I am equally excited bout the return of One Tree Hill Tomorrow so I thought I share my favorite One Tree Hill Nathan and Haley scene

2. As per the above I wish there were a "Tv Club" where you could talk about your thoughts on you fav shows lol Who needs books when you can watch Tv right? Just kidding:P

3. Thinking of giving the blog I totally makeover and a new name. My undecisive personality is making it hard to think of a name. Here are my ideas:

The Princess Diaries: Because some girls are born with glitter in their veins

Confessions of a Plain Jane

Finding My FairyTale

I'm just a girl

Livin Ladylike

What do you think?

4. I watched The Killers with Ashton Kutcher and Katherine Heigl. It was pretty good...not as funny as I thought. Sex and the city 2...really good liked it alot. A bit thrown off my the full coverage of samatha midnight rendez vous's shall we say and I watched Letters to Juliet and it was totally fab. Don't you wish life was life a romantic comedy?

5. Colbie Caillat puts me in a good mood...I just love her music!

I'm Crazy...I think

2010-09-10T17:11:00.000-07:00

Every say something to someone that came across in a way that you totally didn't mean? Well thats what happened to me today.

I am sure you guys all know the blog Newlyweds!. Well she did a post about her vintage desk she found and re-did to look more modern. so when I read the post this morning I thought it was super cute so I commmented..word for word this what I wrote...

"All I can say is Hello Elle Woods lol. Loves it! Of course your desk is as fabulous as you. Would love to see what you've done with the rest of your house. So talented. Everytime you post it makes me wanna be your friends a little bit more.

So I go on her blog today to see her and does a post titled Creep Show Magnet and talks about all the crazy things that have come up on her google analytics as searches that lead people to her blog. I am laughing at them and then I see the last one and it says

Everytime you post it makes me wanna be your friends a little bit more {Oookay. And your grammar is awful and, for that reason, we won’t be friends. }

Is that me? I didn't search that to get there its what I wrote as a comment. I thought I was being nice saying that everytime I read her posts it makes me like her more and so I said everytime you most it makes me wanna be you friend. Granted I did make grammar errors (don't we all sometimes?) I really didn't mean to be or appear creepy. and I really don't think I am crazy.

I'm guessing she was talking about me. its too coincidental.I wrote her privately to apologize. I'm so embarrassed. I didn't even want to talk about it all but I wanted to know what you guys think was it really that bad? I feel like an ass! Makes me not want to comment anymore on anyones blog. Has this every happened to you? I feel terrible..my feelings are kinda hurt cuz I really liked her blog..guess i wont follow anymore:(

On My Mind

2010-09-09T21:13:00.000-07:00

What if I never go back to school?
What if I never get a job?
What if I don't make enough money?
What if he is the one I'm supposed to be with?
What if he never felt anything for me?
What if we never end up together?
What if I am alone forever?
What if I am unlovable?
What if I never get better?
What if I live at home forever?
What if I'm missing out on my life?
What if I am always a loser...
What if I am just a failure?

What I am Loving Wednesday!!!

2010-09-08T16:43:00.000-07:00

this is my first time participating in What I Loving Wednesdays:) He just a little taste of what I am loving right now!!

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_eld672Zx0z4/TIaw3atAooI/AAAAAAAACGI/HoEPJB53MIg/s400/WILW.jpg

1. Taylor Swift New Video for her song Mine! This video is so good and she is just to cute

2. Carrie Underwood...I love this girl and can't get her song Undo it out of my head! She is just too cute

3. Dark Chocolate.. Enough said

4. Fall Tv is coming back....no more reruns baby!!! welcome back to my life gossip girl,private practice, grey's anatomy, one tree hill,90210, big bang theory, rules of engagement and so many more:)

Happy Hump Day!!!

Miscellaneous Mondays

2010-09-06T14:46:00.000-07:00

Happy Labour day weekend everyone!! Hope you having a good one. Had a good couples of days. My friend E from Newfoundland got her on Wedneday and we dropped her off at the airport. Soo good to see her. Love her to bits. We met with some of my friends at Winnie's (local bar), did some shopping and tanned by the pool. Needless to say my sick self had rough time keepin up with all this stuff so I really just want to curl up in bed and not move for a month...im old.

I feeling like some serious changes need to be made to my little blog. Its time for fun and fab new look!! I have alot of ideas and I'm think of changing the name...Any suggestions?

Read 4 books this weekend...You Can Heal Your Life,(has a good message to it..can get boring) How to Become your own Matchmaker,(pretty good..a fun read..helpful..shes a bit extreme for me ha)He's just not that into you( this one's gonna get a post of its own) and L.A Candy(loved it!!! can't wait to get the 2nd book)

Totally lovin the banana republic fall collection...so pretty check it out for yourself

I love my blogger readers xoxoxoxoxox times infinity <3

Not just a wedding...

2010-09-05T11:17:00.000-07:00

Had and interesting talk with the lovely V from Sole Matters (shes fab go check her out...after you read this of course) about wanting to be married. Before entering the blog world I never thought about weddings or my own at all but I did think about finding a life partner and a teammate. For some reason the idea of dating never appealed to me. Never in my mind did I picture myself dating around I just imagine meeting one person and boom that would be it. I realize this is not exactly logical. I've grown up to realize this might be a crazy idea and slightly naive but I still really don't like dating. Granted, I've never had a "real" relationship or boyfriend so I may be out of the loop. Having a disability and walking with a walker kind of makes the male species run in the opposite direction romantically speaking.I always just wanted to find that one person who takes my breath away, makes me smile and treats me like a princess everyday. I want someone I can laugh with and tell all my secrets too. I want to find that someone whose not afraid to be himself around me and that I can be myself around. No makeup, no fuss, just having fun being together. Some to walk through life with and be there to hold each other when the world gets tough. When were old, wrinkly and grey I still want to reach out and hold his hand and still feel so hopelessly in love. Hopefully he's out there:)...To go with the lovey nature of this post I thought I'd a clip from one of my favorite movies Ps I love you! Enjoy!

* side note* if future hubby looks like gerard butler and has an accent I wouldn't be opposed

can you keep a secret?

2010-08-29T17:04:00.000-07:00

I pride myself on being the type of girl who knows the difference between right and wrong. I think boys who cheat are scum, I hate the idea of playing games and I expect honest and loyalty from the people around me. I am the girl who is first to tell my girls when I think they are being treated unfairly by someone they like and to tell them to stand up and walk away. I pretty opened minded but there are some things where I see things pretty black and white. My mom has always told me that you have to look at every situation differently and consider the person and the circumstance. I always knew she was right but I never thought I'd find myself in a sticky situation this. I don't know whats going on with me?

If you read this post, then you know about C...the first boy I ever had real feelings for. (i'll sum it up for you if you didn't read it) Blah blah blah he broke my heart...said he had feelings for me..kissed me (my 1st kiss) invited to meet his parents and on the flight to where he lived he pulled out the "your my best friend card" and I was stuck. Not fun. I decided I needed to talk him about what happen cause I could figure out why he would fly to strange place, stay with my family, go to prom, with me, tell me he liked me, bring me home to meet his fam with my dad and not really have feelings for me. All he said was he never saw me like that and that he only ever thought we were friends. I was crushed.He started dating his ex a few weeks later and we didnt talk for quite awhile.
fast forward to the post that I wrote where we had briefly emailed and he was saying nice things. then skip to about 2 months later (now) I was on facebook the other night and my chat happened to be online. I have no idea why but something inside me wanted to talk to him. We ended up talking for an hour. We said we missed and he said he needs take a trip here soon. we talk about a whole bunch of random things. he also asked if i was going to go back to school (where i went is about 3hrs from him) and he said maybe he can visit if i go back. I forget why but i asked if he had a cell and he said ya and he gave me his number and texted him mine. I said you can text if your bored at work and he said expect lots of texts.
Anywho that was like 2 days ago and we have talked since and he hasn't texted. I don't get it!!! When we do talk he's excited and flirty and what not. but then nothing. he doesn't go out of his why to get in contact or keep in touch really. Is it bad that he didn't text? should I text him? Is he just playing me? I don't get whats going on at all. like why would say things if you don't like someone? what do you get out it?
If this was one of my friends I would tell her to dump this guy ASAP and get someone who treats her the she deserves. Simple right? It should be but in this case my heart is playing games with me. I don't know why but I can't forget this guy. No matter how hard I try or as much as I pretend to everyone that oh ya I'm way over that and he was a loser..I'm not!. Believe I wish I was. Its crazy and illogical. At the end of the days I always feel like somehow we are going to end up together and that hes really thinking about me too. At the end of the days everything always comes back to him. And I've never said this to anyone but I am not over him. I don't understand why he would act like this if he didn't like me.. I would never do that to anyone but then again ..I'm not a guy HA!

Bloggy friends I really need you advice and your help! Am I crazy? am i being played? should i text him? what should i do? has this ever happened to you? I don't know why this is so complicated. I wish this was black and white. My friend says the only reason why I care is because I've been off sick for so long and haven't gone and met anyone...and my other friend who is guy said you can't help who you love. What would you do?

The misadventures of a girl who hates going to the hairdressers

2010-08-28T08:40:00.000-07:00

I don't know about anyone else out there but I HATE going to the hair dressers. Don't get me wrong I love getting pampered ( who wouldn't) but seriously the idea of a makeover seems fantabulous in theory but never seems but the reality of it is something completely different. I am always super pumped and excited to go to the salon but then I get there and suddenly my brain reminds me that its something to be excited about.

I always go in with this whole idea in my mind and then I get there and some get talked into something else. As soon as the sit me down in the chair I start to sweat and stomach is filled with butterflies as if its the first day of kindergarden. The swarm of people come around and start asking me what I want and started putting in their 2 cents and then I find myself wanting a sign that says SOS SAVE ME. without fail I end up surrendering and telling them to do whatever they think is best!

I don' think I've left the hair dressers totally happy I think the problem is that I picture in my mind coming out with not only new hair but a new face. like walking in look like lurch from the Adam's Family and leaving looking like Jennifer Garner. What I need is a power team that follows me around everyday and does my hair, makeup and all things personal grooming.

I'm not asking for much just

Ken Paves to do my hair

Mac for Makeup

Maybe a little style help from ms.Zoe on those days when only thing I can fatham wearing are sweats

And a bit a helo from the 5 factor diet man himself Harley Pasternak to get the bangin body

With an end result took something like this...

What it could be done? ok ok stop laughing...

Instead this was the end result

Do you hate going to the hairdresser's as much as I do?
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Inspiring!!

2010-08-26T20:13:00.000-07:00

I haven't really talked about it on the blog too much but I really love volunteering and being involved in project that really help other people. My disability definetly does have it rough points don't get me wrong. People always ask me if I could take my disability away would I? And the truthful answer is of course I would. Given the opportunity to not have to struggle to get around somewhere because the world sometimes doesn't seem to be very accessible place would be awesome. or not have people stare at you like your an alien from planey mars would be great. But my disability does have a positive side. It has given me the ability to see the world with an understanding of true compassion and the ability to empathize with people who are struggling. I think it is probably my biggest gift

As you know I am studying therapeutic recreation. For those of you who don't (believe me there are alot) it is the study of how to provide leisure services to people with special needs like a phyiscal or mental handicap, addictions, the elderly and so on. It seemed perfect for me being it blended my love of event planning with helping people. With me being sick and everything I've kind of been rethinking what I want to do when I am back in school and I'm not sure if I want to stay in therapeutic or rec. or go into public relations and career wise get involved in promoting charities and other times of foundations

The bloorview rehab centre in Toronto is like the ultimate place I'd like to work. It is the largest facility in canada in terms of therapeutic recreation. they do all kinds of amazing things. well right now they have a campaign going on to promote the visibility of disability and letting people really understand what life is like for a disabled person. They're having a contest right now where people can make videos about what disability means to them. I wanted y'all to check out my two faves. you can vote for them too if you want. hope you enjoy em:)

http://filmpossible.ca/entries/75466 and http://filmpossible.ca/entries/75466#72576

Thoughtless Thursday!

2010-08-26T13:01:00.000-07:00

1 day to go and then it's officially TGIF! Woohoo we are almost there lovelies!

Today is my first particpating in Thoughtless Thursdays Hosted by the totally cute Mrs. Katie over at Life in the Fulmer Lane

I have always love Hilary Duff ever since her days as the lovable Lizzie McGuire. Now Hilary is all grown and in case you have heard she is now a married lady.

So for thoughtless thursday I thought I'd share the photos from Hil's oh so fab wedding feature in Ok Magazine

Love the Louboutins how could you not although I think I would my shoes to have a pop of color.

Love the fresh and natural feel of the wedding

Looks Magical..like a fairytale

The look so happy!

Mr & Mrs Mike Comrie

Love the dress on her cause she looks so confident but its not for me..I like more of a full skirt dress. its the only day you can really look a princess!! go big or go home ha!

Love her flowers. the have a boy of color but don't over power the dress.

photo credit to www.hilarydweb.org

What did you think of her wedding?

updates!!

2010-08-21T09:07:00.000-07:00

Hello favorite people ever!!!
Ok so I am a terrible blogger ...cheese whiz it has been too long!! I've got so much I want to share with you guys. Getting ready for some serious posting coming ( I know you are excited) Thought today I'd give you a run down of what has been going on lately

1. The cleanse has been getting easier although I feel off the wagon twice (opps) My meals have mostly been consisting lots of vegetables (sweet potatoes, zucchini, turnip,onion,carrots,cucumber, lettuce) Rice (lots of it) and boneless skinless organic chicken breast, salmon, and filet of sole. I haven't gotten sick of it yet I actually feel pretty good about it. It has really helped anything or made me feel better but at least I am being as proactive as I can. (minus some movie theatre popcorn and pizza)

2. I actually haven't really been feeling that great lately. My nausea has been getting worse but on a brighter note I went to see an osteopath the other day and its the first healthcare appointment that I've been to that I feel positive about. I don't know if he'll necessarily be able to fix my stomach but he did do wonders to my neck. Ever since my fall in 2008 my neck has never been the same and I think he might be able to relieve some stress there. All in all I can't complain..there are so many people who are worse off than I am. Look at poor Baby Cohen who left this world way too soon after putting up such a fight and Taylor who has so many health problems going while being the perfect mom too her little lady. Its people like who keep me going

3. There is sooooo much going on right now. Next sunday is my godmothers daughter's baby shower and we are hosting it at our house alot of people are couple. Never been to one before so I am kind of excited! then two days later my friend from newfoundland is coming to stay with me for a few days. im excited to show her around..I just hope I feel well enough to be a good tour guide.

4. The big one!! you guys know I've been on a medical leave of absence from school since December. Well time is running and back to school is almost here and I can't seem me being well enough to go back september 7th even though I want to. The tough part is my scholarship. everything is up in the air right now because my scholarship got renewed but that was on the assumption I was going back in September. I'm just freaking because I want my life back and I want to get better and wanna go back but I don't want to push myself to hard and end up in a bad situation. STRESSFUL

Thats about it for me...I have lots of fun stuff I am excited to share with you!! Hope all is well:) Whats new with you?

I don't know what gluten is but I like it!!

2010-08-11T15:40:00.000-07:00

Holla!

So I suck I was going to post more details about my cleanse and then felt really sick and never got around to it. I started it today and BELIEVE ME you should be glad your not on it. I have no clue what gluten looks like or what it specifically tastes like..all I know is I NEED it in my life. For breakfast I had a piece of gluten free bread with almond butter and let me just say god bless people who have celiac disease my goodness I do not know how the call it "bread".

For lunch I had a bowl of homemade vegetable soup with basmati rice in it and that was YumO! and then for dinner I had filet of sole with garlic and spanish rice. I little more plain then I am used to by it was pretty good. I hoping this is going to start getting easier as the days go on. The least fun part of this cleansing experience is the crappy natural meds I have to take. There are like five different drops that I have to put under my tongue and good lord do they ever taste bad. and let me just tell you I have to drink apple cider vinegar mixed with water before every meal. I don't what I was expecting but for some crazy reason it never occured to me that it would taste like Vinegar but holy moly does it ever.

Now your probably all saying WTF! Why do you just quit and believe although I haven't even been doing this 24 whole hours I have thought about it believe me but I have to give it a shot! Imagine if I can get better I finally start blogging about funner things than cleanse and being sick lol You guys could finally meet fun Aly...yes she does exist HA!

I wanted to share this clip with y'all that Mrs.Hesson posted the other day. It was so touch and made me cry. Its about a boy with cerebral palsy whose father who is suffering from health problems competed in the iron man race and various other marthons with his son. Things like this always remind you to stay positive and anything is possible.

Change Has Come

2010-08-04T11:18:00.000-07:00

Wow I really need tp get better at updating! Holy Smokes its been to long. How are all my favorite bloggers?

I am not going to lie...it is 9pm and I am totally exhausted and doing everything i can to stay awake lol i know loser right? I am 20 going 85. I am surprised I don't have gray hair.

I try not to talk about being sick on the blog because I don't wanna be like oh woe is me when there are people with much worse things going. But its pretty much the biggest thing going on in my life right now. Its just a pain because I never have any relief from the nausea its there ALL the time and just gets worse when I move around alot or eat. Ever since I got sick I wake up at 5 no matter what time I go to bed and I never feel rested.

As you guys know I have been to every doctor humanly known to man and they all say that they can see I am not well but they can't figure out why. I was going to go to the Mayo clinic in minnesota but unfortunately my family insurance only cover emergencies in the states boo!

So they next thing I decided to try is a naturopath. I don't really believe in it but at this point I've got nothing to lose and everything to gain. So I went on Monday to see this woman and I'm not going to lie I felt as though she was a bit of a quack. We didn't really take about much...I had previously filled out a questionnaire so she just told me a bunch of supplements I was going to take and that I was going to have go on a strick anti inflammatory drainage diet for 6 weeks. Its basically no gluten, no sugar, no alcohol,no caffeine, no tomato, no potatoe, no red meat or pork, chicken breast only (no skin) So basically I will be eating grass for a month ha! I'll give you guys more details on grocery lists and what not and how I am going to tweak for myself tomorrow maybe some of you might wanted to join me on this cleansing journey (ok stop laughing)

I have also set up an appointment to go for a colon and liver cleanse with a hygienist...lol I am not going to lie my mom made this appointment for me and I have no idea what it involves. and I am also going to go see and osteopath. the deal with body alignment and energy and what not.

Anywho I justed wanted to y'all a quick little update on whats been going on and where I have been. I'll have more details and stuff tomorrow. I also wanted to say a HUGE CONGRATS TO HILLARY from Southern spice and everything nice on getting her first teaching job!! Your students are very lucky to have you!! you go girl!!!

Fabulous Blog Design

2010-07-24T17:31:00.000-07:00

Hi Y'all

The lovely Mrs. Jenn from Munchkinland Designs who created my blog design is having a giveway to celebrate the 1 year anniversary of her business. She is being super generous and is giving away

1 – Twitter Background design. You’ll have to follow Jenn @In_Munchkinland to learn how to enter for the free Twitter background giveaway.

1 – Basic Blog Design which includes your choice of a 1, 2, or 3-column design, a custom background, a custom header, and a signature.

1 – Deluxe Blog Design which includes everything from the Basic package, plus four unique sidebar titles and implementation of a fun font of your choice.

1 – Elite Blog Design which includes everything from the Basic and Deluxe packages, plus unlimited sidebar titles, a navigation bar or buttons, and a blog button with “grab me” coding.

Check out her website for more details...good luck my loves

I miss your smile!

2010-07-08T17:30:00.000-07:00

Omgoodness where have I been?...sooo sorry I haven't updated in awhile I've been feeling extra sick and have had no energy to blog. I'm now:)

I have been really blessed with the people who are in my life or have been in my life because each of them has enriched my life or taught me something that I really needed to learn. I thought I take some time to tell y'all about my grandparents. Growing up I went to school pretty far from home so on the weekend I didn't really have friends over because most of them lived closed to where I went to school so it was hard for them to get here. Being an only child I spent alot of time with adults and especially my grandparents.

Sorry for the bad pic I could find anything else. shes the one in the blue outfit

Nanny is/was my Mom's Mom. She passed away when I was 4 years old at the age of 61. She was my best friend. It sometimes is hard to remember things because I was so young but the one thing that has always remained clear to me is how much I loved and still love her. She was really funny and had a heart of gold. Everyone says she is were I get my sense of homor from. Nanny never really liked having people touch her (oe so she wanted everyone to believe) but suddenly when I came along I had carte blanche. I remember taking a big bottle of hand cream and just about emptying it and putting it all over her and she did not say a word. She went through alot in her life and still manage to come out shining on the other side. I think that if she were here now she would be the best friend I could ask for and she probably would have kept my feet on the ground when I get totally caught in myself and whats going on around me.

Nana & Poppy were my Dad's parents. Nana passed away this past year and Poppy passed away about 6 years ago. Poppy was absolutely wondeful. He was one of those old gentlemen you see in black and white movies. He was always well dressed (to this day when ever I see mens dress shoes I think of him) He liked to have the best quality and he was not afraid to spend a pretty penny if thought it was worth it. I remember being at my grandparents apartment and it was raining outside. They were really worried about me being bored so Poppy took me in the car and brought me to the mall. He let me run wild in a toy store I said I could pick one thing I really wanted and it didn't matter what it was. I was so excited and picked out this Barney puppet making kit. He was an amazing dancer (think Noah and Allie from the Notebook dancing in the street) and everyone was totally envious of my grandma. He was very grounded and would do anything for anyone. Whats the best memory I have? Him singing along to oldies like frank sinatra and attempting to sing the same way he did. He thought he sounded exactly like him. Poppy was a wonderful who nicknamed me Stinky (I pooped on his lap when I was little) and to this day when someone calls me Stinky I don't mind because it makes my heart smile.

Nana is kinda of different story. You see she wasn't exactly the nicest person in the world. (I know you are probably thinking I'm terrible but hear me out) I wish I could tell you what made her this way but I have never figured it out myself. She wanted everyone to think she was perfect...like she lived the same life as the Queen. She ragged my Poppy's ass every moment of his life and was mean to him. She was extremely jealous of everyone and everything. It was hard growing up because all I wanted was a grandma who like to cuddle and be nice but instead I got remarks about things I seemed to always be doing wrong. Example..we were in a fancy restaurant and as we left she said to the waitress "my granddaughter wasn't blessed in many ways but we love her anyway" Surprisingly sometimes I find myself really missing her and I never thought I would.

So to all of you out there if I could give you one piece of advice..LOVE YOUR GRANDPARENTS!! Get as much time with them as you can...absorb their wisdom,feel their love and give them a hug at any chance you get. There will never be a relationship like the one with your grandparents. They are a true gift from god<3

miscellaneous Mondays

2010-07-05T11:56:00.000-07:00

Happy 4th of July Weekend to all my American readers:) Hope you had a wonderful weekend and made lots of memories.

So its Miscellany Mondays over at Lowercase Letter so brace yourselves for some random thoughts that are running through my pretty little (ok..big) head.

1. {I love me some Betty White!}
Tonight is the Canadian Premiere of Betty White's new show Hot in Cleveland and I am not going to lie I have been excited about it all day. I think Betty is a total hoot and I just love her to bits. I watch The Golden Girls as often as possible and think shes too funny. I hope when I am her age that I am that witty and fun:)

2. {Don't Judge me but...I watch GH}
I know, I know I can hear the laughter already but I watch the soap opera General Hospital EVERYDAY and I am really disappointed that it is a repeat today for the holiday weekend...(I don't know what that says about me HA!) FYI I also totally watch Coronation Street ( a British Soap Opera) Its not my fault my fault I've been watching both since I was a kid with my Nana.

3. {D stands for DETOX}
I've been hearing about alot of celebrities who have been doing detoxes lately and I am really thinking about maybe going to a detox spa. I think it would be totally beneficial for little old me. Maybe if I clear out my system..I'll start to feel better and start to enjoy all the summer fun and get ready for heading back to school! Have any of you ever done one? How did you feel? I'd actually love to detox my life lol My closet could use a spruce up... and maybe some new purchases haha ok I know detox means get rid of but I can get rid of and replace :P

4. {Totally Random}
This is totally random but one time when I was visiting a friend in Saskatchewan..I went with her older brother to this famous ice cream shop that has all these wacky flavors and I thought I'd be totally cool and daring and try the Wasabi ice cream that everyone they would never try. Needless to say they weren't wrong...Wasabi and dairy do not mix well at all. It also had chunks of Wasabi in it...EWWWW!

Decisons Decisons

2010-06-30T18:27:00.000-07:00

Hello My lovely bloggy friends!!

Ever since I got sick things have just totally spun out of my control. I am a total type A personality and can't not deal with the unknown. I need to be in control of every situation I am in and every decison I make has a plan B,C,D,E to follow if it doesn't work out.

8 months ago this was the plan. Move to Halifax, go to Dalhousie, Make friends, Volunteer as much as possible, work really hard and get all A's, network as much as possible, try new things and finish off with a job in therapeutic recreation that pays well. Great plan right? Thats what I thought

Fast forward to now....I'm back home in Montreal, I don't leave the house unless it is to go to the doctor, my schedule revolves around whats on tv and I've never felt this sick in my life.

I didn't really get to immerse myself into my program and the university experience because I started to feel sick pretty soon into first semester and was finding everything so difficult because I was tired and really not feeling well. I was always a little bit weary of my choice to go into therapeutic rec (for those of you who don't know...its like occupational therapy but it works on implementing fun leisure activities for people with special needs or who are elderly,or suffer from addiction etc etc) I have always loved planning events (I'm known for having the best parties...y'all should come) and I've always been really good at helping others..it just comes first nature to me so what could be better?

The problem with the field is that is not well established yet (we're getting there but where I live is the furtherest behind) I realize that your supposed to do what you love but I worry about not getting a job or not having enough money.

I KNOW I KNOW..thats silly because I'll be helping people but honestly living with a disability costs a lot more money then I think I even realize...

If I do drive I am going to have to buy a van because my adaptations take up space and cannot be done in a car.plus my insurance is going to be higher then most because of disability. And if I don't drive I am either going to have to hire someone to chauffeur me around or just constantly pay for taxis

Right now I am on my parents insurance but eventually I am going to be on my own. My medications (which are hopefully temporary except for one) They cost a fortune so lord knows I am going to have to have a job with benefits and that will probably cost more too.

I can't do my hair in a ponytail someone always has to do it for me...so I'm going to find someone who can come and do it for cause I'm that girl who always has my hair in a ponytail because I never like my hair

and my apartment will cost more then most because most accessible places are newer and cost more.

so you can see why I am freaked out about being in an iffy field...I totally could see myself being in Public Relations. Maybe working with a charity or some kind of foundation or something. I would love to do something in PR with fashion but my Momma always said it was unrealistic. I love planning!!

Now I have to decide what i want to go into and what I am supposed to do and I don't have a clue. Ever since I turned 20 I feel like time is going by so fast...plus with missing a year of school I feel like there is no room to explore or waste time.

What do you think I should do?

Clothes,Clothes and More Clothes

2010-06-30T14:05:00.000-07:00

It's Wishful Wednesday over at The Seattle Smiths I was super excited when I saw that this week's topic is I wish' I had .....as my personal closet and could shop from it daily. I love clothes and fashion like its my job. Every since I was a little girl an outfits would totally change my day. If I was happy with what I was wearing I'd walk around as proud as a peacock with my head held high.

So without further ado

I wish' .... I had Urban Outfitters as my personal closet and could shop from it daily.

I am so upset that I can order online from this store. you see there this whole stupid fight that has been going on in Quebec for a long time. The french separatists would like Quebec to separate from the rest of canada and turn completely french and get rid of all the english. so because urban outfitters didn't have a french version of there site they shut it down for Quebec residents until they fix it...I know shitty right?

My Dad is always saying how if we won the loto the first thing he would do is build me a walk in closet for me (Boy does he know his little girl) I would love to have urban outfitters at my disposal without having to max out my favorite piece of plastic I like to call Ms. Visa...my better half

Honorable Mention goes out to J Crew (we don't have on in Canada) Planet Blue and Anthropologie. Let it be known that I never purchase from these stores..my wallet doesn't allowed but oh if only I could

what are your favorite stores?

Top 2 Tuesday!

2010-06-22T09:10:00.000-07:00

Its top 2 Tuesday over at The Undomestic Momma and with the newest of the latest Bachelor breakup...

What better topic then top 2 reality shows

1. Giuliana & Bill I love this couple so much. They are so cute and so fun and seem so real.

2. Anything on TLC... this channel takes up a good portion of my life. I love it!! I love Four Weddings, Battle of the Designers, The Little Couple, 19 kids and counting, little people big world..you get the point

If a producer walked up to me and asked me to be in my own reality show I don't think I'd refuse ...Wonder what it would be called...haha that be fun:) In all seriousness I think if I could be on any reality show I think I would like to be on The Bachelorette. Free VACAY Hello?

calling out to all my fav bloggers..i need your help

2010-06-17T14:00:00.000-07:00

That time has come again (no not aunt flow) haircut and coloring time. I don't about you ladies but I find it so hard to chose I style and color because I feel like I get wrapped up in what to look like that particular person like face and all. I really wanna change things up. Being sick and all i think i deserve a totally new look.

do you guys have any suggestions on what color and what kind of cut should get? If you have any ideas please share

Is It Circumstance Or Is It Me?

2010-06-16T08:59:00.000-07:00

Last night I watched Losing it with Jillian and something really struck a cord with me. Jillian was talking to one of the kids in the family about why she let herself get like this and why she doesn't try harder. After a little interrogation ...she said because I feel like a failure (she failed out of nursing school)

Of course I start boo hooing because thats what I do. This really hit hard and hit home because honestly I feel like a failure. A BIG ONE.

When I was 18 I decided to apply for job as a councilor at a camp for kids with disabilities in Saskatchewan. I have a friend who lives there so I planned to live them. I was so excited that I got the job. It was 6 days and week and being on call at night and one day off but I loved. I loved tucking people in getting hugs and just spending time with people who appreciated it and were full of love. they made every moment of my time worth while and honestly i would have done the job for free. Perfect right? Wrong! My supervisor for some reason didn't like me or the fact that I was working with people with disabilities and I had one myself. She'd come in at night and take to my coworker and not even acknowledge me. Then one day...just my luck I went to lift my walker over a step and I tripped backwards and hit my head pretty hard. Great ..she already hates me lets show my incompetence..I had really bad concussion and an hour after...while i was having a hard time staying awake she called me in for my performance appraisal and said someone like you should not be working somewhere like here..I was totally hurt but too sick to defend myself. what went down from there was her and her friend telling our bosses lies about me and as a result i got demoted. I no longer would be spending as much time with the kids. once i got better i was able to go into my boss and defend myself and was able to prove that what said were lies. i later left the job and went home

FAIL NUMBER 1

I think I posted about this before but I had my heart broken by a boy I was totally WRONGFULLY falling for. I met him when I was 15 and had just left my high school and after all the bullying. It September I would be starting at a new school. We met on an exchange in the summer. It was different then anything I had ever experience it just felt right. After 2 years after that of falling in and out of contact I wrote him and decided to invite him to prom. He said yes. He came here for a week and is was a rocky road. I could not figure him out one day he was into it and the next he wasn't until the last night he was here. He said he wanted me to come home to where he lived with him to meet his fam and make us official. I thought I must have been wrong about the mixed signals but when we are on the plane there he said "your my best friend but I think we should just be friends." great time to tell me right? so i had to go and meet is fam and sleep there cuz i couldn't get a flight home until the next day:(

FAIL NUMBER 2

Going Away to School Didn't turn out either as you guys know...I was there two months and boom I got sick and still not feeling so I won't be going back this year :(

FAIL NUMBER 3

I've been taking driving lessons for awhile...I used an adapted vehicule (a big truck) Instead of using a brake and gas pedal I use a joystick appratus..I push forward for the brake and pull back for the gas. It hasn't really been going fantastic. I am really nervous driving and I have a hard time turning properly ..so today my instructor said next week will be my evalution with an occupational therapist and she will decide whether to continue the lessons or me not drive ever again. he said he doesn't think i'll be a driver. there goes that dream and any hope of being more independent or a little more like anyone

FAIL NUMBER 4

I don't know when I'm gonna get something right..I feel like life is going down to toilet bit by bit. Sorry for getting all poor me but its been a rough friggin day

hope y'all r well

Top 2 Tuesday!

2010-06-15T13:00:00.000-07:00

Its Top 2 Tuesday over at the undomestic momma. Go check her out if you haven't she is an absolute doll!! This weeks topic is guilty pleasures. Let me just say asking me to pick just two is so unfair lol

1. Listen to Chistmas Music...even when its not christmas

I don't know theres just something about christmas that calms me and puts me in a good mood..I love it all! My favorite christmas album (modern one) is Jessica Simpson ReJoyce

2 Shopping alone or with friend or my mom (she often will pick up something for me ..love her) although i prefer to be alone. Iove shopping for clothes or maybe or anything really. I dont like shopping for shoes if the store is mostly empty or I'm alone. i dont like all the attention from the sales people. i feel pressure

side note: i also really love tv...reality (shows on tlc..the hills. the city, losing it with jillian) and girly shows like one tree hill,9010. greek, gossip girl melrose place and the list goes on...ohh i also love cbs comedy...ok ok i know i watch too much tv

Miscellaneous Mondays

2010-06-14T14:32:00.000-07:00

It's Miscellany Monday over at Lowercase Letters. I love this idea of making monday less mundane by sharing some fun little timbits of random info with you guys so here goes...

One: I really wish I was southern belle. Sometimes I say y'all and try to put an accent on some of my words and pretend like its just the way I speak when my friends say what the heck is that? Give me a break I'm just trying to channel my inner Reese Witherspoon

Two: I think being on the Bacherlorette would be a GREAT IDEA. As long as you realize your not gonna find real love ur good to go. Hello free vacations, life of luxury, kissin some boys...ok men...ok frogs and finish off with a stint on dancing with the stars...downside I see none

Three. I hate grass ...no not the kind you smoke.. i mean really grass. I hate the way it feels on my feet. i hate that there are bugs crawling in it, i hate sitting in it..i just don't like it

Four: I hate diet soft drinks but I drink them because they're low cal

My Fab birthday!!

2010-06-13T06:13:00.000-07:00

My birthday was in the begining of may and a couple weeks after that I went out to a mexican restaurant downtown and out for drinks afterwards. I had so much fun! Honest to pete I was so spoiled and i have no idea why. My friend D and his girlfriend M came and picked me up and we went to the restaurant and met all my friends. D is the greatest guy and friend. He paid for dinner and my drinks and got me a 50 dollar gift for itunes. Can you believe it? I think he went way over board but I love them for it:) My friend went to fancy store downtown and got me a beautiful scarf that I am absolutely in love with and a gorge pair of earrings and my friends M&N got an awesome nude color leather purse that I LOVE. We had dinner and some oh my god disguisting mexican cake. can you say ewww.

Then we went to a bar and danced the night away. It was weird cause normally i hate dancing and avoid it like the plague. I think it was a mixture of the drinks i had and the fact that I don't get out of the house much being sick. I had alot of just hanging out with people i love and being myself and not worrying bout others around me. I love the people in my life and I'm so lucky to em. The night ended with a big mac from Mickey Ds (side note: i only like it after a night out haha)

hope you enjoy the picture from the night

Remember you are BEAUTIFUL.

Her Royal Higness

2010-06-12T17:37:00.000-07:00

I’d heard of blogs and blogging but I never read any or had anything to do with them then when I got sick and was home ALL day EVERY day. I happened to stumble onto someone’s blog through one of the daily sites I go on. From there are started finding more and reading more. It became a great to keep myself occupied during the day.
I found the idea of blogging pretty awesome. The idea of getting to learn things from people all over the world from many different walks of life is so cool. With a couple clicks of a button you can bring joy to someone’s day, make them feel like their not alone or simply that there’s someone understands you. I think sometimes we get so caught up and we forget to check in with our own emotions.

I came across Hailey’s blog I few months ago and it might sound silly but she totally change my perspective on life and it made take a good look at myself and see that there were something I need to fix. Her blog is called Destined for Royalty (I know cute right!?!) and its all about her journey down the aisle (she’s now a newlywed) and its all about her life and being newly married. Hailey has name herself “Her Royal Highness” now only because she’s totally fab and deserves a crown but her initials are actually HRH. If read Hailey’s blog you know that she carries herself with confidence and respect for herself. She believes that she deserves the best the world has to offer and you know what?.... she’s absolutely right!!! Every girl out there deserves to be treated like she royalty (no that doesn’t mean spending tons of money)

I have always considered myself a last priority. I always put everyone before me. I never believed that I deserve anything good I just chalk it up to people feeling sorry for me. Logically I know I’ve worked hard for the things I’ve gotten but I never feel it. II’m that girl that laughs when I’m given a complement and shrugs off any attention that comes on me as quickly as possible. Ladies you feel me? I realize now from Hailey that in order to attract the good things in your life you have to open to the possibility that god has to offer and you have to believe that you deserve that goodness. That is when it’ll come to you.
I realize now that I do deserve attention and I do deserve positive things. I just need to open myself to the idea.
I emailed Hailey and she is a complete doll. Not only is she beautiful and the greatest wedding planner ever (holy moly u should see the pics I think its honest the most beautiful and original wedding I’ve ever seen) and she was sweet enough to tell me about similar rough patch she went through I would have never thought that would happen to such a wonderful girl

So here’s to you Hailey! I think your fab and no one wear the title of her highness as well as you!!! Matt is a lucky man!! Follow her at www.destinedforroyalty.blogspot.com

To All the girls out there I crown you princess or Queen of your life/ You deserve to live your own version of a fairytale what ever that may be☺ Some days your foot will swell and that glass slipper won’t fit but it is just a little water retention lol you’ll good as new in the morning still as beautiful if not more beautiful then Cinderella..

Being Sick is the New Black

2010-06-12T04:30:00.000-07:00

This past September was a big month for me. I was going away to school…my DREAM school at that. Dalhousie University. I had decided I wanted to go to this school years ago and my goodness what a fight it was to get there. You see my mom and dad were not jumping for joy when I camp home from school one day and declare I was going to go into therapeutic recreation and I was going to study at a school in a totally different province and be miles away from them.
I fought with them tooth and nail for 2 years convincing them that I could go away to school despite the fact that it would be challenging would be much more challenging for me then going to a school near home I knew that I could solve these problems as I had solved ever other obstacle that had come my way. I desperately wanted to have independence that other people my age had. You see I live out of the city and transportation is difficult because there is nothing that is accessible for me. ( we have train but it has stairs so I need someone’s arm to help me get on) so whenever I wanna go somewhere I have to ask my Dad to drive which can be stinky cause if he works or does feel like it my plans or squashed. I won’t go into detail about everything else but you feel me right?
I was so exited to be going to dal. I road tripped it there with my godmother and my rents flew and met us there. (we can just forget my mimi panic attack as we got close to dal LOL)

Fast forward to a month into school and was pretty happy. I made some really good friends, I got a job offer after going to a conference for my program and I had freedom.. I was a bit overwhelmed with the anount of work (side note: im a total perfectionist so I like literally was trying to do 600 pages of reading…can you say impossible?) All of sudden I started getting pain in the top pf my stomach…like a really bad burning. I wasn’t hungry and I didn’t want to be anywhere near food (unusual cuz this little lady loves her some food.) After a couple weeks of this and not sleeping well I went to the doctor and said oh it probably stress. Long story short after brushing me off long enough I ended up in the hospital for over a month with chronic vomiting and a kidney stone found while I was there. They courldn’t figure out what was wrong with me so they let me go and said I would get better once I rested up and went home.
Well people they Wrong with a capital W. I came home in December right before Christmas and I’m still better. I nausea ALL the time, I have burning in my chest, I’m so tired, I have no energy, I’m on like 5 different meds and I just don’t feel well. I’ve had every test under the moon, 3 gastroscopies, barium test, blood tests, ct scans, ultrasound.. I’ve have it all and nothing but a little inflammation in my esophahis.
I’’m going craaazy…I’ve been to sooooooo many doctors and everyone keeps blowing me off. The lastest being Thursday. I have been having some irregular bleeding the past couple days and I’ve never had that before…he said well I guess you’ve never been to gyno for obvious reasons…what obvious reason that fact that I’m disabled and theres no way anyone would want to have sex with me? So ignorant!! I’m just really tired of fighting and this is not the life I want to be living. .one where I can barely get out of the house and on where I can’t eat. I don’t want I’m gonna do I feel like I’m never going to get better☹ if anyone has anyone ideas about what could be wrong let me know…I am at the end of my rope

REVAMP

2010-06-11T18:29:00.000-07:00

Hi Y'All
So I know I’ve been gone for awhile but you weren’t out of my mind. I had been thinking about having someone professionally design my blog (for those of you wondering why I didn’t do it myself..simple I am Not tech savvy at all) I thought it was gonna be like a 2 day process but apparently I’m a bit of a control freak and a perfectionist and I made it go a little longer than planned (sorry Jen you were amazing to work with thank you for putting up with me)
I was totally inspired by this website I recently stumble on it and inspired the blog update. Operation Beautiful is a movement started by a woman named Caitlin to encourage women to feel beautiful in their own skin. The whole point of the movement is for people to leave post it notes with confidence boosting messages like “YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL” in different places you go for strangers to find.
I wasn’t sure if I wanted to share the details of what happened to me because I feel like talking about it is like saying “Poor Me” but after seeing what one person can do with a post it note I think its time I open up and maybe help someone else by doing so.
When I was 15 and in my early years of high school I was viciously bullied. The boys in my grade would push and shove me, try to trip me and basically try to beat me up any chance they got. For a young girl you can imagine what that feels when most girls are trying to hump whatever they can find but somehow what they want to do to you is physically harm you. But these boys were the least of my worries. Girls ripped me apart verbally every day of week…to the point where I had to hide in my helpers office to order to prevent a situation.. there were lots of different words thrown at me but I think the worst thing said to me that hurt the most was “YOU ARE NOTHING…YOU’RE A BITCH. THE ONLY REASON WHY ANYONE WOULD EVER TALK YOU IS BECAUSE YOUR DISABLED AND PEOPLE PITY. YOU WILL ALWAYS BE ALONE…NO ONE WILL EVER LOVE YOU” I remember being completely thrown and thinking Oh My goodness is this true am I going to be alone? Is this what everyone thinks of me? I was mortified (this happened in my school cafeteria and the room fell silent for this girls little speech. I don’t think I ever been the same after that day.
I went through a lot that year but thankfully I changed schools and my life changed drastically. I made friends who genuinely to this day love me for me. The thing is my environment changed but I didn’t and in a lot of ways still haven’t. years have gone by, I have grown up and have had many different experiences but in a lot of ways I still feel like that girl being ripped apart every single day. I look at myself in the mirror and I don’t love what I see, I pick myself apart and everyday I look at the world around me and I just don’t measure up. Not pretty enough, not smart enough, not funny enough you get the picture. I realize as I get older that I am much harder on myself then those taunting kids ever were. It is 3 years later and I am sure those people who made my life hell don’t remember me but I remember them…they are with me everyday.
I am slowly realizing that if I want my life to change I have to change the way I think and see myself. I want to love myself and I want to help others feel the same way. So I want you to know that YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL BECAUSE YOU ARE YOU. Your differences are what make you YOU and you should fill your world people who love you for those differences. I hope you’ll join me on my journey to find myself and the life I want to life☺

Top 2 Tuesday: Bucket List

2010-05-18T18:06:00.000-07:00

Its Top 2 Tuesday at the undomesticated momma and the topic is top 2 bucket list. After alot of thinking these are the 2 that made the cut

1. Deal with and change my issues with my self esteem. I hope to eventually love myself:)

2. Start a foundation. I would really like to start a charity that helps people and does something great for people in need. I don't know what it is going to be but it'll happen

I just wanted to let you guys know that I am working with jenn from munchkin land designs on a new blog design and everything is going to change. I found this website about a subject that is really close to my heart and a big part of who I am. I've been totally inspired and I'm so excited to share with you all:)))...its not too late to comment and let me know what you guys would like to see..please let me know

<3

I want to hear from you!!

2010-05-14T14:22:00.001-07:00

hello peeps

thats right...you heard me i called you my peeps lol some of you may be wondering where i have been the last little while or maybe u haven't and don't really care but i'll tell you anyways. I am in the proccess of working with a custom blog designer to really spice things up. I have been typing up blogs almost everyday even though you don't seem them I am. I'm saving em for the new design. I can't wait to show you pics from my birthday (I have a life really I do lol) Anywho know I wanna turn it to you guys! What would u like to see more or less of here? Anything knew you'd like me to feature? things you like me to talk about? I have a lot of new ideas but I REALLY WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU!!!

PLEASE COMMENT AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!!!

Top 2 Tuesday!

2010-05-12T05:34:00.000-07:00

I realize it is no longer Tuesday..I know, I know I'm late but I want to partake.This week over at the undomesticated momma the top 2 subject is dream houses. I got really excited about this because I can't wait to have my own place that can be all about me. Don't get me wrong I live my parents house..I have been here my whole life but have something of my own would be awesome!

Here goes......

1. Nick and Jessica's House from Newlyweds

I love the shape of this house...its so uniqure. It does you and its just really fresh and fun. I like that there are alot of windows around which gives you a ton of natural light. I think it might be hard to get privacy though. Can't be walking around naked if u know what I mean lol. I love how clean looking all the rooms are. they seem so fresh and open

the kitchen is my favorite!! i love the stainless steel appliances and the granite countertops ( i love how granite feels). I also really like the look of the wood. Its classy without making the room look out of date
check more photos out here

Number 2: Nicole Richie and Joel Madden's house

This house makes me want to sit outside and have a BBQ every single day. Soooo pretty and cozy. Its totally modern while still having a cottagey country feel. Its like having the best of both worlds. I love everything about it

Feel Good Fridays

2010-04-30T14:16:00.000-07:00

I thought for this week's feel good friday I would share this cute little story with you

My great uncle is 93 and was sick awhile back and had to be in the hospital. When the doctors came to check him out and then admit him he said "Don't worry it's ok!...I'm only dying when I am 95 and right now I'm 93 so there's nothing for you to worry about." I LOVE HIM!!!

HAPPY FRIDAY BEAUTIES

Yes, No, Maybe So?

2010-04-26T18:13:00.000-07:00

Caution Readers: This is probably going to be a really long post and if or when you finishing reading it you may think I'm total Kook (if you don't already)

I am so beyond excited to share this with you. Yesterday was my Godmother's Birthday and to celebrate my mom, my godmother, their friend and I went to see an intuitive counsellor. Huh? Thats right an intuitive counsellor. This lady has a radio show, she's written a book,does personal sessions and performance like what I went. Some would say she is psychic but she hates that word and does not call herself that. She also has the ability to communicate( not see) with the dead

Now if any of you are like me at this point you are rolling your eyes. BELIEVE ME I GET IT... the most I do to participate the idea of ghosts and psychic ability is watch ghost whisperer..you feel me?

When we got there I thought O-M-G here we go with some yahoo who prays on the weak and vulnerable for living. There were about 50 people in the room and she would pick people and answer there questions. As she starting go through I kept thinking " I bet people are just going along with her because they are too embarrassed to say no your wrong. Then she choose my Godmother and Ladies and Gentlemen Boy was I WRONG

My godmother said "I've been going through a rough time lately..what do you see in the future?" This is where its gets scary folks! She was dead on (no pun intended HA) She said that she felt a tightening in her chest because my godmother likes to hold her feelings in (TRUE) She said you get migraines and have neck problems (TRUE..shes going for a ct scan of her head in 2 weeks) she told her there not medical they are related to stress (again TRUE..her doctor and therapist said it but they are doing the scan to be safe.) She talked all about my godmothers personality and my mom and I could stop laughing because she was spot. She said your the type of person to give someone 20 dollars and end up with nothing for youself..LITERALLY THAT HAPPENED WHEN WE WENT ON VACATION. she gave a guy who was staying in our hotel 20 dollars because he said he lost his luggage and he woud give it back but he never did. This wasn't the only example there so many more..

My godmother then asked her "my goddaughter has been really sick lately do you see anything with that?" Keep in my mind that I wasn't sitting close to my godmother. She all of a sudden grabbed the side of her throat and said I feel something in my thyroid. She said theres something with her endocrine system....her whole body is completely out of whack. Now people honest to god if I had to describe how I've felt these past couple months I would say I feel completely out of whack. I'm tired, I sometimes feel like fainting, I am nauseous. then she says theres something wrong with her eating (TRUE) Every time I eat it hurts and I'm nauseous all the time. For those of you who don't know I walk with a walker (I have cerebral palsy) and my walker wasn't in the room with me my mom had folded it and put it were it was not visible. The lady said to my godmother shes also had a big medical trauma right? (YES)

SHUT UP RIGHT NOW I KNOW HOW CRAZY IS THAT!?! I decided then and there that I had to ask her a question or 2 myself. So at the end I went up to her and I just said my life has been really screwed up lately with a millions things going and I wanna know what you see. she didn't have alot of time because there were tons of people behind me. She said I feel a very creative vibe from you but you hold back. (TRUE) I'm rly shy. Music is a big part of your life (TRUE..my dad and I rly bond over it) and I get the writer vibe (hello I started this blog) She said I have a gift that I haven't tapped into yet.

my grandpa (well my grandmas bf til she died) died 3 years ago and I asked her about him. She said first of all I don't see stepgrandfather ..he just might has well been yours. He was a man to pick favorites but when it came to you there was no doubt. She said that I was born with a pure heart and thats what brought us together and he wanted me to know that I'm still his girl, his angel. At this point i was balling my eyes out lol Somehow of nowhere she said you're absolutely beautful and don't let anyone take that away from you or tell you different. to be honest I have rly low self esteem I was really bullied in high school and it stuck with me. I never feel good enough. I think it was odd that she just said that out of nowhere

do you believe in psychics?

My weird little life

2010-04-23T10:11:00.000-07:00

Seriously my OCD tendacies lol cause me to not update has often as I would like. I have all these ideas of things I want to tell you and then i think its stupid and I don't post it. New idea? I am going to put a notebook next to my bed and jot down all my thoughts..I seem to come with things right before I fall asleep...

Ever hear the song Something More by Sugarland? Theres a line that says "there's gotta be something more, gotta be more than this. I need a little less hard time, I need a little more bliss" Thats pretty much how I feel right now. I got a call from the people in charge of my scholarship and they basically said that if I don't go back to school in the fall, there are many more deserving people who could be getting the scholarship.

I get it, I totally do but its not like I've been just taking a break I'M SICK!! I'm on a lot of strong meds and I find it difficult to get off the couch most days. I wish that you my bloggie friends got to know me as the "real" (ok behind the computer screen) Aly. When I was in school instead of the regular 7 classes I took 8. I volunteer at a childrens hospital, I vlounteer for two environmental groups, I was the president of the disabilities club, I spent time with my best buddy ( a mentally disabled person) and managed to fit in homework and the hills..all in a days work. I was busy and what i wish is that everyone could understand that this is not me. This is NOT what I want and this is NOT what I asked for.

Talk about built up stress! I just feel like everything I've worked so hard for is slowly being pulled away and I don't what to do? Anyone out there ever go through something like this with an illness? I'm nauseous all the time and I get pain in my belly when I eat but ever test I've had done is clear hmmmmm all I can say is Dr.Oz, Oprah says your the man can you help me?

feelin kind like perez hilton but..

2010-04-17T15:52:00.000-07:00

omgosh have you guys seen this pic of Whitney Port from The City....I don't like to be mean BUT WHAT WAS SHE THINKING?!?

It's like a mix of curious george with the boots and raggedy ann with the outfit...not good people not good

Pre Quarter life crisis

2010-04-17T12:40:00.000-07:00

It's hard for me to believe but May 4,2010 marks my 20th year of life. I'm not going to lie it is totally freaking me out. 20 seems like such a big number. I remember being 16 and thinking 20 was such a grown up age. It's when you get or have your shit together and your life journey is starting to show itself more and more, bit by bit. When I turned 20 my life was going to be like a really great episode of the hills...really up this point life has been more of a bad day for a member of the glee club.

My 16 year old self thought ( and to be honest my 19 year old self kinda of still believes this) 20 was when you are in a serious relationship, part way through my university degree, career prospects on the rise, new university friends who you got out and have martinis with on the weekends. To say the least my life is not going in this direction at all...

I not even close to being in a serious relationship. The closest I've come is when I was 17 and let me tell you it was NOT a fairytale. Now I am not complaining about this..I'm not one of those girls who feels like shes not complete without a boy but it would be nice to have someone to have a snugglefest with once and awhile if you know what I mean?

I got into my dream school, packed up the car and drove off for what I thought was going to be the best time of my life. I had scholarships that I was very proud of. I got sick and to tell you the truth I logically understand that it is not my fault but I feel a little like failure...like I ruined a perfectly good opportunity. Although the one thing I need manage to make a couple of friends who I love dearly and feel so fortunate to have! It actually hard to be away from them I feel kinda left out ..outta the circle.

I think I'm crazy but I don't know I feel like I should have done some pretty monumental stuff by now. This crisis is probably supposed to happen in 5 years from now but I've always been a little ahead of the curve. As afraid as I am to enter this part of my life, I think it is time for me to make a list, a list of all the things I want to do and what I want from my life and I'm gonna go out and get!

I was watching Dawson's Creek reruns today (don't judge!) and Audrey said something to Joey that really grabbed my attention She said "why are you spending all your time wishing you were someone else and trying to live the life of someone else, when you missing all the opportunities that are being given to you in your life" This is sooo true

Did any of you freak out when you turned 20?

Feel Good Fridays

2010-04-16T17:05:00.000-07:00

TGIF everyone!!

Here's a quote I thought would put a smile on everyones face..HAPPY FRIDAY!!

Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh!" he whispered. "Yes, Piglet?" "Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw. "I just wanted to be sure of you."

formspring.me

2010-04-14T13:27:00.001-07:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/alyobrien

If I were a newlywed...

2010-04-14T05:08:00.000-07:00

I have a confession to make...I own all the seasons of Newlyweds:Nick and Jessica on DVD...I know I know don't judge me lol.
I always get a good laugh at it and I think they're sweet. I remember being 15 or 16 when it was on tv and saying to my friend that I know people think the show is dumb and their marriage is immature but I would mind having a marriage like theirs. I mean come on shopping trips,hot air balloon rides,romantic dinners, lots of laughs and getting to cuddle with Mr. Lachey can you blame me? I imagined myself living in their house..swimming in the pool lol Gosh when their house went on sale something inside of me got excited like I had shot HA!!! I know I was a funny 15 year old. I still would mind a relationship like theirs (cupid if you wanna send a nick lachey look alike my way by all means go ahead) except minus the slight father daughter thing they had going on not cool

If I were a newlywed I'd want it to look like this.....

Feel Good Fridays

2010-04-09T11:42:00.000-07:00

So I was thinking about it and I really wanna try and post a really good feel good moment on fridays:) Bonnie Hunt does a feel good moment on her show everyday and it just makes me smile and want to do that for all of you.

My cousin posted this vid of facebook and a couldn't help but smile and feel like a giddy school girl on the inside (Ok..you caught me ...maybe I felt a little..or alot jealous too)

So to the man who decides he can put up with my goofyness for the rest of his life take note....I think this is really cute:) The key is originality!!

Hope this puts a smile or your face or maybe even a spring in your step:)
XOXO

The Last Song

2010-04-07T10:49:00.000-07:00

I went to see Miley Cyrus's new movie The Last Song the other day with my mom and godmother. I'm not really a huge Miley Cyrus fan but the previews just grabbed at my heart and I could wait to see it.

Let me give you some background history on my movie taste...I love anything that is light, fluffy and makes most men roll their eyes as the watch in indescribable pain. YES!...I'm that girl. For my 17th birthday one of my b aesties bought me a box set of 4 movies and this set was titled "For Your Softer Side"

I thought for sure this movie was going to leave me feeling like a little girl and wishing that I had a boy who wanted to frolic in the waves. Now please don't get me wrong...I DID feel that way and Miley props to you for scoring such a catch! The boy is a looker...he even got my mom and godmother gears going.

I am a hug Nicholas Sparks fan...the notebook and a walk to remember are two of my all time fav movies. Now that being said you'd think I'd find the theme of his movies...but OH NO NOT THIS GIRL. I was light hardly enjoying a seen where miley and liam are in the car and she starts singing "she will be loved" by Maroon 5 and he realizes she can sing and jokingly starts to try and sing (which he can't) and they have this nice lovey dovey moment. I am in love at this point. then soon after Miley's character's dad mentions medication he's been on and it dawns on me. The movie is taking a turn down the Nicholas Sparks road...someone is going to die. Yep thats right ...someone dies and I left the theatr with a puffy face that looked I had a serious alergic reaction. I should have known...

Go see the movie!!! It was totally worth the tears:) Check out the trailer here

Caught My Eye

2010-04-07T08:48:00.000-07:00

Ok so sue me...its not friday but I wanted to participate in Favorite Fridays!! I saw this on Maegan's blog and it's from a girl in pearls

This weeks theme was favorite couple that is still together!

It was a tough choice with runners up Giuliana and Bill Rancic (Love their show) and Nicole Richie and Joel Madden (They seem fun)

But the Winners are....PORTIA DE ROSSI AND ELLEN DEGENERES!! They just seem so happy and so in love. I saw them on Oprah and its just so nice to see two people so happy. You look at them and see forever!! I don't think it matter when gender anyone is..its what makes you happy. I think we're all looking for that forever love and I'm glad they found it

Style Inspired

2010-04-06T11:56:00.000-07:00

I don't know if any of you guys have seen this but I was featured by Jen at the look 4 less. I emailed her about being stuck in a bit of style rut since I've been sick..as she put it a Sweatpant fashionista! My favorite celebs in terms of style are Lauren Conrad, Vanessa Hudgens, Nicole Richie and she used these to inspire the looks...I was so firckin excited when I saw this!! I love everything she found...only downer... most things were not longer available in small:( hope you enjoy!! If you guys have any outfit suggestions for mr let me know

More Express...

More Free People...

More Old Navy...

Give Jen props at www.thelook4less.net ..... check out the post here

Halifax

2010-04-05T15:18:00.000-07:00

Happy Easter Everyone!!!! How was your easter

So as you guys know I went to Halifax this past week to visit a bunch of friends where I used to go to school last semester!!

Boy Oh Boy did I have fun! I was originally going to stay with a friend who lives in an apartment but I'm actually sooo glad I didn't do that!! I stayed with my friend Katie who lives in the same dorm as me and was also in my program. WE HAD SO MUCH FUNN! Every night we'd say we were going to go to bed early and the next thing you know it was 1 am and she had to go to school lol opps

She's such a nice person and I totally love her. We didn't really have alot of time to get to know each other while I was there because I got sick pretty early on in the semester so I wasn't really there. It was so nice to get closer...she's a true friend.

The night of gala (dinner/dance) to celebrate this years residents in my dorm. It was typical of a dal event. It got so much hype...I'm not gonna lie it was kinda a let down. My friend got mouthy with the security guard and she ended up finding a reason to kick most of my friends because of what my friend said to her. they were kicked out by association lol me,katie and jan were the only ones left. We didn't stay to long...danced for awhile. *SIDE NOTE* My girl K was freakin awesome she managed to shimmy her way near this cute guy and they danced for quite some time. She was so brave and so cool about it. I need to be more like that.

While I was there we went shopping! (a bought a pair of leather boots and a purple and pink plaid shirt dress) We stopped for CINNABON!!! they have the best cinnamon bums Ive ever had. If any of you ever get the chance to go to one...DO IT..its heavenly.

The rest of the trip was mostly just hanging with friends and havin a good time. I haven't laugh so hard in a long time! It was so good to see everyone!!! The yummiest part...THE FREAK LUNCHBOX!! a crazy awesome candy store:) My dentist might not be happy but I definetly was.

What have you guys been up to?

unwritten

2010-03-25T11:56:00.000-07:00

sorry I haven't been around..been so busy with doctors etc

So I am in halifax ... sitting in my friends dorm writing this blog! I am actually so happy to be here. I just have a really good feeling right now.

When I left Halifax I thought for sure I was never going to come back. I was happy with the people around me, the parties or the school. Let's put it this way I was a grumpy gus. Now that I'm back after a couple months...I feel like I miss it!

I have a life here. One that doesn't involve my parents having to drive me everywhere, being decide where to go and who to see...I really get to do what I want when I want to. I don't really get to do that at home. I have to always worry about keep everyone happy and not upsetting anyone...

Brown Girl wrote a post that really got to me and made me start to think. She was talking about how hard it be to let people in sometimes. After being burned so many times..this invisible wall starts to build and before you know it your like repunzel stuck up in a tower. I'm not good at asking for help and when I was here I needed a little more help like with carrying my food and stuck and I think I may have wrongly accused some people of only being my friend because they felt sorry for me and knew I needed help. Maybe it was that invisible wall and my insecurities about myself and the way I want my life to be that got in way of being open to people

I wrote the first portion of this post my first day in Halifax. I am home now and honestly I don't feel quite the same about everything. I thing alot of the girls are great and have wonderful qualities but aren't in my group of friends that I know totally have my back forever. I think going away to school allowed me to have freedom and independence that is harder to have at home due to many things but I think I can have what I want and not moved away from home. Once I start school again I think things will start to change because I will be getting out more and doing more things. hopefully I can move into an apartment and that way it'll be easier to get around and what not.

Anywho I have alot to talk about since I've been away so long but I don't wanna bombard everyone in one post...Coming soon: All about my trip with pics, My request that was answered from the look 4 less, the new miley cyrus movie and much more!!

Happy Friday:)

Introducing...

2010-03-21T13:14:00.000-07:00

I'd like to introduce you all to my better looking younger but actually older sister Chelsea...

I got her when I was 11 after like 10 years of begging for a dog. I saw her in the window and I knew she was my little stinker! This dog is unbelievable!! Let me tell you. When we got her they told us her breed (Maltese) likes to lie down and cuddle all day, hates snow hardly barks. I think this woman hit her head at that time because this dog is the friskiest thing I've ever seen. She loves the snow, she barks well not anymore she's older but definetly when people come to the door and she's miss bossy britches.

when she wants a treat she sits in front of mom and growls and cries until she caves (she knows she will) and at exactly 4pm she knows its dinner and lets everyone know about it. She's so funny as I sit hear typing this my Dad just picked her up from behind the couch (she's hiding cause its time for her shot...she's diabetic) and the curtain touched her and she has caderacs so she didn't know what was happening and she starting barking at the curtains LOL

i love this little fur ball so much and she has her own personality!! Hope you're having a good day.

Happy Saturday!!!

2010-03-20T07:19:00.000-07:00

GOOD MORNIN!

I'm in a really good mood this morning! A Walk To Remember is on right (my fav movie) , I remember when it came out..I was 12, I think and remember going out and buying a pink wool sweater because the character in the movie had one. I thought "hey since she got the guy maybe if I wear one." Give me a break I was 12 and still believed that prince charming was coming for me!
(Don't worry that illusion has faded)

I just found out I am going back to Halifax where I was going to school for a visit this week and I am really excited! I haven't seen my Hali friends in sooo long! There is Gala/ Dance for the dorm I used to live in...so that should be fun! My friend Colin was really nice and said if they wouldn't let me buy a ticket that he would take me:) SO NICE! He is such a nice guy! I really like him:) I really wanna be a knock out since the last time everyone saw I was either in the hospital and looked yucky or just got out and still looked like cousin IT.

I planning on going to get my hair done. Cut and color change Woohoo!! not sure if I am going to buy a new dress or wear one I have that I've never worn!! I post pics of my possible choices ASAP so you guys can help me decide! I CAN'T WAIT!

BE HAPPY EVERYONE IT'S SATURDAY!!

PS: IF ANYONE KNOWS A GOOD PLACE ONLINE TO GET DRESSES LET ME KNOW

The New And Improved Blog!!!

2010-03-19T09:02:00.000-07:00

Since I've been off sick I've really gotten into this whole blog thing! I love it!! I spend alot of time reading others and I think its a great thing.

I am soooo super duper proud of myself...if anyone has noticed I haven't been blogging the past couple days because I've been working on my layout and trying to make things look really good...This not very technologically savvy girl even went so far as to get photoshop and somewhat figure out how to use it!! I still have a couple tweeks i wanna do but I'm pretty happy with the results for now!!!

Mrs. Dew let me know that my comments weren't working. Sorry about that I don't know what happen but it is fixed!!

I love to hear from you guys!!! Any comments, suggestions or Questions you have feel free to ask!
xoxo

Stuck in a Style Rut

2010-03-15T07:36:00.000-07:00

When I was high school I won best dressed at prom and when I was in college people who come up and comment on my outfits. Since becoming sick I kinda don't really get dressed anymore...just kind of live in my pj's or when I do get dressed (mainly to go to the doctors) I'm in my sweats!

I think I'm stuck in a rut and I need some help getting out! All I do on the computer is look at clothes and fashion sites but I can't seem to commit to anything...

I want my fashionista status back...any suggestions on items I should purchase??

something special to me

2010-03-13T06:09:00.000-08:00

I want to share this speech we all of you that a friend of mine wrote I thought it was AMAZING!! I totally relate to her feelings and thought it was really great that opened up like this...I hope you enjoy!!

Today I’m going to focus on a topic that I think gets so little recognition and that is the topic of women with disabilities and relationship realities of our situation using my experiences. I remember the first time I noticed something was different about me. I mean I obviously knew I was in a wheelchair and got around differently compared to other children but for some reason no one seemed to notice and if they did they didn’t show me they cared. I think my issues about my disability began in the second grade when a fellow male classmate said as a rebuttal to something I said, “Well no one is going to marry you because you’re in a wheelchair”. I was shocked; I remember crying in the bathroom non-stop for a good hour. What did my wheelchair have anything to do with my future let alone my marriage? Taking into consideration my age at the time, I didn’t understand the full depths of relationships and even so I felt like one of my dreams was forever shattered. I was always the girl who played with my sisters left over tool from her wedding on a weekly basis , I also loved playing mommy and I did it with such expertise. I buried that comment away in my mind somewhere without really acknowledging it or expressing its effects on me to anyone over the years. I never knew what kind of world I was about to grow up in.

I always had numerous amounts of friends and had a very active social life beginning as a child. In elementary school all the boys and girls talked to me, I was quite popular and not always in a positive “everyone knows you” light. By the time I was 12 I could feel the changes happening within me and around me. From outside my elementary school clique, youth from other schools could not understand how the heck a girl like me had so many friends and got so much attention. When I noticed how people around me were changing as a result of these comments I began to overcompensate. Knowing full well the change was because I was in a chair I began to do anything necessary to not be associated with being disabled even if it meant being associated with other mostly negative things. My overcompensation turned self-destructive in which I put myself in unsafe situations just to fit in and not only that but do be liked especially by guys.

The reality of the situation is I have never been comfortable with my disability and most people who meet me are unaware of this. They think I am okay with it as is but everyday is an internal struggle for me. Because my disability is congenital and an unspecified muscle condition I used to tell people when I began daycare and school that I got shot in my legs and that’s why I needed the wheelchair. I always felt the need to dramatize the reason I was disabled because the fact that I used a wheelchair made me different but not in a fun exciting way.

As I got older and up to present day I still make fun of myself and I have officially labelled my medical condition as the Gabby Disorder. I try desperately to “normalize” whatever part of myself I can, in an attempt to fit a mould that wasn’t created for a woman with a disability, in fact was not created for most women in general. I had many ideas about other individuals with disabilities. As a child and teen I was never involved in anything disability oriented. I never played any sports, went to special camps or any form of segregated school. I didn’t even know any other individuals with a physical disability let alone be friends with them. I had a them versus me complex. I used sayings like, “she isn’t anything like me” or “I’m not like them” etc etc. I swore off dating any guy with a disability, I would not even go there with my thoughts. In fact, none of my friends ever asked me if I would ever date a guy with a disability, for they were just as absorbed in my perception as I was. It is only recently that I have been more aware of how my disability affects me and these once held beliefs. After playing the “good-cripple” role for the majority of high school just so I could undo my previous title, by grade 12 I was sick of playing any role at all. I began to realize that my life was going to be a little bit different then all my able-bodied friends and I had better figure out what I was going to do about it. The summer of grade 12 I deemed was going to be my self-discovery process where I’d forget about the heartbreaks from high school, carry with me the good times and begin university in the fall.

During that summer I went to a 3 week independence program for people with disabilities. This 3 week program focused on activities of daily living, budgeting, working with attendants. It was an overnight program held at a Ryerson university residence. The year I went the program was featured on W5, which is a sort of dateline show for Canada. I was one of 3 individuals W5 chose to focus on. Not only was my first experience living independently aired but so was my first experience of being with people who have disabilities. Of course something I didn’t expect occurred as well. I met someone there, someone I really liked. A guy. He was charming, funny, really good at creative writing, something we both shared. We got along great in the beginning while we were at the program trying to spend as much time together in and out of session. We were so obvious that our “love story” became a part of the W5 episode. We were both coming from similar atitudinal backgrounds [believing we’d never date someone with a disability] .

As the program ended we decided to test our relationship in the real world, out in the open. In the beginning, everything was comfortable with us. I thought I had really gotten over all of my issues with my disability only for me to realize I had far more than I could’ve imagined. Not only do people with disabilities get put into different categories depending on ones perception but two disabled individuals dating also get put into categories. Everywhere we went people stared. We got ignored in high price jewellery, we were called cute by absolute strangers, we were given pitiful looks by others if we were arguing etc etc. it wasn’t good at all. The more other people stared the more I judged my boyfriend and I as a unit, myself and sometimes just him. Besides all the extra stuff we had to deal with we had to deal with regular relationship hurdles as well like family frictions, balancing school and our relationship and just getting to know each other more. And like some people’s relationships, you get to know each other and realize you don’t get along nor do you have anything in common and you break up eventually. See that’s when my other dream died. The dream of us. I used to joke that we’d one day have our own reality show like little people big world, where I’d be a child psychologist and he’d be a world famous author. Except our relationship was more like a bad Jon and Kate +8 episode instead. I was comforted knowing that I had him and could rely on him to be there always. In fact, we are still great…friends.

My biggest fear these days is that I’m going to be alone and now that I’m back in singleville I am more frightened than ever. I know there are a lot of people sitting in this room who feel the same, who share that same fear. Almost everyone in this room has felt some sort of rejection by someone they liked. It might not have been because of one’s disability but rejection is rejection. It hurts. What I experience all the time is a form of rejection when you’re not even considered. It doesn’t seem to matter how much I’ve accomplished and how much I currently accomplish, it doesn’t matter how much weight I loose/gain, how nice my hair is, what I wear, what I say. I feel like I am never enough for guys. I found myself hoping I cross there mind for the second they saw me. I feel invisible. We live in such a sex-craved society where we are bombarded by images of how women are supposed to behave. I can admit I’ve prescribed to some of these beliefs, I try to dress a certain way to impress people, only wishing to get to the next level where there is interest on a dating level.

I realize now I need to be comfortable with myself in order for anyone to truly feel comfortable with me. Although I still do try to do dress-to-impress at times my reality now is more focused on me and my needs. How an individual any individual fits with my life. I realize now that it isn’t the fact I wont date someone with a disability. I just won’t date someone with whom I don’t get along with, have nothing in common with different goals and priorities. You see, the reason for telling you all this is to make you see that individuals with disabilities have “normal” relationships and to make you aware that they share similar experiences, similar heartbreaks etc. an individual with a disability type of love is the same love someone without a disability experiences. Love is love—lust is lust—sex is sex. Sometimes you end up just wanting to have a guy you can fun with—yes we want this to and no it isn’t a ‘crush’.

As I sit here with you all today I am reminded of my feelings I had before taking this class. When I decided to take this course a few of my friends who are “able-bodied” asked me, “Why are you taking this course? You don’t even like discussing anything disability related...you hate being disabled”! They were right about it all but I knew that’s where the problem was. People within professional fields who work with individuals with disabilities have been telling me my whole life that I should be an activist for disabled people’s rights. I didn’t want to be a part of a group of individuals with disabilities fighting for an unreachable goal. See, before I assumed that the only people fighting for disability rights were disabled people alone. I used to think why would any “able-bodied” individual care about this stuff? It doesn’t affect them, they wake up every morning, jump out of their beds and live half of their life before an individual with a disability could even begin the groundwork for an independent life. Why would THEY care?

So why did I take this class? The feeling of solitude was getting too much to bare. Having majority “able-bodied” friends they could only understand a fraction of my problems because my issues were tainted with social restrictions. I didn’t want to have to complain my whole life and not do anything about it. I was sick of separating myself from other individuals with disabilities just to end up feeling isolated from them. So I took this class for understanding what disability studies was and how do we organize knowledge, our wants and needs, in a way that produces change for individuals.

the trouble with love

2010-03-11T13:33:00.000-08:00

Hello Blogging world I've been gone to long!!

I've had alot going on! More tests on my belly..not fun and needless to say ..NOTHING HAS BEEN FOUND YET!! I'm kind of disencouraged...starting to feel like I'm crazy (a doctor asked me if I think I'm craziessss no joke) and now he seems to think theres a problem so go figure!!

In other news..there has been an update in the boy department! Don't get too excited I'm shaky ground! I guess I'll go back a bit so you can understand the Situation (and no not that guy from jersey shore..haha i can hear all the laughs I'm getting) anywho I met him on this trip I went on a couple of years ago and it hit me instantly! Actually it was kind of funny..friends of mine were totally gaga over him and i was that hes gonna looking but he's just a guy! Long story short he was really sweet and left a gift for me before we went off are separate ways (we live in different parts of the country)

fast forward 3 years to my prom and I decide to put myself out there and ask him to come here for it and he did. I was sooo excited for him to be here but I was a nervous wreck..boys were not a territory I was familar with or not in this big way before. We were getting along really well but I could put my heart on there and wasn't saying anything either..until the last day he was here i put my myself out there and things worked out really well. the next day i went home with him to meet his fam but on the plane he said "you are my best friend" I WANT TO JUMP OUT OF THE PLANE!!!! but I had to go and meet everyone anyways

needless to say ..broken hearted me...when I asked him what happened days later he said he never had feelings for me ever (enter knife to heart) I never really believed that because he initiated everything all the time and friends were like OMG he LIKES you

blah blah blah..he got back with his ex a couple months later (she treated on him like crap) ..they were gonna live together but it never happened and they aren't together

all that babble brings us to right now...a couple months ago he messaged me and i quickly answered but blew it off. he had some news this past couple weeks so we started talking (emailing)

this is where you guys come in!! He's been saying nice stuff... like a really miss (the place where I live) I miss you guys blabla
i don't know what to make of all this..AM I CRAZY FOR EVEN THINKING BOUT THE POSSIBILITIES? Is he just being friendly? like by u guys..what's he talking about?? he misses my parents too..weird no? or is that his way of protecting himself in case I shut him down..I'm ridiculous right? I think we can all agree on that...but seriously what would you do? I feel like were gonna run out of things to email about then where is that gonna leave us

I'm gonna try and up date every day!! sorry for the delay

My Favorite Blogs

2010-02-25T14:47:00.000-08:00

In honor of my first month of blogging I thought I'd share some of my fav blogs...ENJOY!!!

www.earlandpearl.blogspot.com (NEWLYWEDS!)one of my absolute favorites. I just discovered it recently. Her name is Ana and she's a newlywed. Her layout is cool it made me really wanna bling out mine. There's something about her blog that kinda reminds me of the tv show newlyweds nick and jessica.. she seems rly fun and her blog is pink ..so obviously u can't go wrong

www. destinedforroyalty.blogspot.com (Destined for Royalty) This girl (hailey) is also I newlywed and you totally get the feeling that shes the type of girl you wanna go for a drink with. She calls herself her royal heiness (those are her married initials HRH) and I think thats totally awesome because if u can't declare yourself royalty who can? The thing I love most is she wore red shoes for her wedding...I never knew you could do that..i always thought they had to be white but color is so much better. really gave her pics a great pop

www.butterfliesandheaveneyes.blogspot.com (Life After I Dew) Shes a Newlywed whos pregnant with her first baby! (a girl) her posts are so relatable and honest. I get a good kick out of them! super cute

www.ambersnotebook.com (Amber's Notebook) Amber has the best style...shes really creative!! She made her own version of a lady gaga outfit (not easy) she takes pics of her outfits everyday

www.keepinupwithcourtslife.blogspot.com (keepin up with court's life) Her blog was the first blog I ever read and it made me wanna to create my own. Shes really fun and makes me laugh out loud

www.guidetostyle.blogspot.com (Nicole's guide to style: everything and anything) Nicole has great style!! Whenever she purchases something new I'm totally envious! She has sales on her blog (I bought dress from her) Shes a real girls girl and I love it

L.O.V.E

2010-02-25T09:37:00.000-08:00

It seems like everywhere people getting engaged,or falling in love or just plain being in love!! Entertainment tonight seems to annoncing an engagement every night like hilary duff, carrie underwood, kristen bell...etc (see photos below)

The blogs I've started reading are mainly those about newlyweds or people about to get married and they just seem so happy. I've always been the type thats always protects my heart after being hurt but I don't think its helping get what I want. I do even care about a wedding or anything (ok ok maybe a wedding wouldn't be bad) What I really want like is having a partner to have fun with and try new things with...like a best friend your attracted too! I'm still waitin ...maybe it'll be me one day writing a newlywed blog

While we're on the subject of love I figure I'd tell you 10 things I love
1. CBS comedy mondays
2. Ben & Jerry's Cinnamon bun ice cream
3. My flannel martini pj's
4. www.starstyle.com AMAZING WEBSITE
5. Giuliana & Bill and keeping up with the kardashians
6. Ke$ha (Her cd is called the animal)
7. Floral print
8. Chocolate Milk ( I know I'm a 5 year old at heart)
9. Gilmore Girl reruns
10. Three's company and Golden Girls

What do you love?

RANT

2010-02-25T04:59:00.000-08:00

To finish off my last post I watched the end of one tree hill and haley's mom died:( so sad I bawled my eyes out. So to everyone out there GO GIVE YOUR MOM A HUG.

Now that I got that out I'd let you in on what has been going on lately. Yesterday I went back to see the gastroenterologist and he said the lymph nodes mean anything. (don't get it but ok) He asked me if I thought my problem was in my head...he said since you don't really have life maybe thats it. Now hold on just a second..the whole reason why I don't go out is because I don't feel well. Before I got sick ..I had it all..went away to school, new friends,volunteering opportunites, 2 scholarships,job at the hospital, great teacher. Trust me if I could just make myself feel better I would..life would be easier. then he asked me if i like to stick my fingers down my throat to throw up...again NO. hes going to send me for a gastroscopy and small intestine test. I understand that he has to ask these questions but its starting to make me feel like I AM CRAZY!! I wanted to cry because this isn't what I want and if I never get better I'm never gonna get my life back to normal. Next up...I am gonna call my gastroenterologist from when away at school and she what he thinks he knows me better than anyone!!

sorry for the rant I just need to get it out.. thanks for listening

I LOVE YOU MOMMY!!

2010-02-24T17:03:00.000-08:00

I was watching the latest two episodes of one tree hill on the computer (I looove the show) and they were rly sad episodes!! I have to watch the end of last one but of what I've seen so far haley's mom has pancreatic cancer and is dying. She's the hospital and doesn't have alot of time yet. Needless to say I sobbed like a baby while watching...and I'm not gonna lie it made me wanna hug my momma all day long.

I dont know what I would do without her. She's on my side all the time and is the best mom a girl could ask for. Just wanted to take this to say thanks momma ..I love u with all of my heart and don't know what I'd do without you